Fishing Expeditions and Cockblocking Hoes
Mike came over last night to watch the crappy episode of 24 that I taped for him. That's a whole other post though. Anyway, he told me about a phone call he had received from a woman he knows. The chick called him from the bar he had just left, to ask him what he thought about one of her friends who was still there:
Mike(groggy): Hello?
Chick: Hey
Mike: What's up?
Chick: I just wanted to ask you if you were staring at Melanie tonight.
Mike: Huh?
Chick: Were you checking out Melanie? You looked like you were staring at her.
Mike: So you're on a fishing expedition.
Chick: No I'm not.
Mike: Aren't you still at the bar?
Chick: Yes, but she doesn't know I'm calling you.
Mike: Of course she doesn't.
Chick: So were you staring at her?
Mike: No, I wasn't.
Chick: Are you sure? It really looked like you kept looking at her.
Mike: Well then honestly, I wasn't staring at her I was checking out her friend.
Chick: What?
Mike: But she has a boyfriend right?
Chick: Uhhhh.. yeah. So then what was that between you and Melanie at that last party?
Mike: That was two drunk people kissing. But then I sobered up.
Chick: Oh. So there's nothing with you and Melanie?
Mike: No. But let me know if her friend breaks up with her man.
Chic: Oh okay. Bye.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh my God... funny as all hell. Mike says he was just really irritated at being woken up at 2 in the morning. I think I'm just rubbing off on him and not in a good way. He said he had heard from her friends that this chick "has a boyfriend but she's slutty." I told him to wait and see for himself before deciding. Any "friend" that warns random guys off her "friend" by calling her slutty might just be triflin. I mean what kind of friend does that. "Yeah my friend is pretty but she's a real whore." Wtf?? Don't be afraid to cockblock your friend. That's why guys are better people. Guys cockblock out in the open, for all to see. Women cockblock behind the scenes, creating major damage before anyone even notices.
Aud called me the other day, in absolute shock at the audacity of one of her supposed friends. It was Aud's first ever experience at being cockblocked and she was surprised I was so blase about it. But I'm no stranger to being cockblocked. Chicks cockblock me even when I'm not interested in the guy. Doesn't bother me though, what do I care if some broad wants to make a fool of herself. I told Aud to just let it go. All it does is make her look even better. Note to you cockblocking hoes reading this, and you know who you are: Shame on you hoes!!! There are billions of men in this world. But you only have so many good female friends. And for good reason apparently. Tuck that shit back into your pants and move on.
5 P.M. edit: On further thought, I HAVE known a couple guys that act like bitches when they cockblock. One guy Ray once called the guy I was dating who lived 3 hours north and told him a whole bunch of lies just to break up the relationship. And another time, he actually slept in my room on the floor, to make sure I wasn't going to be banging his other friend who stayed the night because he was too drunk to drive home. I lived in Building A. Ray lived in Building C. You do the math. Incidentally, I threw open the window in my room and let it get ice cold, just to be a bitch. Didn't even give that cockblocking punkass a blanket. And all this just because I told him once that they would serve ice cream in hell before I ever let any part of his body touch any part of mine.
