32 Facts About New Jersey

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32 Facts About New Jersey

I got one of those "New Jersey Facts" e-mails today, courtesy of Mike J. The comments in the parentheses are mine but the actual facts aren't, so I have no idea if all of these are actually true:

1. Highlands, New Jersey has the highest elevation along the entire eastern seaboard, from Maine to Florida. (Okay, where the hell is Highlands, New Jersey? Is that near Aberdeen? *snicker*)

2. New Jersey is the only state where all of its counties are classified as metropolitan areas. (I can see this about northern Jersey but central and south Jersey look like one big farm.)

3. New Jersey has more racehorses than Kentucky. (So my future racehorse "GET AT ME DOG!!!" will have many other racehorses to play with.)

4. New Jersey has more Cubans in Union City (1 sq mi) than Havana, Cuba. (Heeeey. The only two people I know from Union City are both Cuban. They're trying to take over the world!)

5. New Jersey has the densest system of highways and railroads in the US. (And the most poorly planned. Yes it makes sense to come to a complete stop at a stop sign, then have to accelerate onto a highway with no entry lane and a 55 m.p.h. speed limit.)

6. New Jersey has the highest cost of living. (Yeah can you believe even White Castle has the audacity to charge 5 bucks for like 9 chicken rings?)

7. New Jersey has the highest cost of auto insurance. (Coincidentally, we also have the highest percentage of shady ass people who commit insurance fraud.)

8. New Jersey has the highest property taxes in the nation. (See what you migrating Manhattanites did?)

9. New Jersey has the most diners in the world and is sometimes referred to as the "Diner Capital of the World." (If you're ever in Newark for some godawful reason, pick up a Hungryman sandwich at Tops Diner. Oh my God those are good. Like jack the guy at the next table for his sandwich good.)

10. New Jersey is home to the original Mystery Pork Parts Club: Taylor Ham or Pork Roll. (Damn, Taylor Ham is questionable meat? I didn't know that. I'll still eat it though. I eat SPAM for God's sake. SPAM is comprised of like 8 different animals.)

11. North Jersey has the most shopping malls in one area in the world, with seven major shopping malls in a 25 square mile radius. (And you all thought I moved here to get married.)

12. New Jersey is home to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. (Isn't this still being disputed? I thought New Yorkers were still trying to get their grubby little hands on them. And what is with Governor's Island? Do we own that too? We want that one too. Like buy two get one free.)

13. The Passaic River was the site of the first submarine ride by inventor John P. Holland. (The first of he and Captain Nemo's many Voyages Extraordinaires.)

14. New Jersey has 50+ resort cities & towns; some of the nation's most famous: Asbury Park, Wildwood, Atlantic City, Seaside Heights, Long Branch, Cape May. (So if you're looking for drunken sorority chicks, New Jersey's like a summer-long Mardi Gras. It's a well-kept secret. We also know who killed JFK.)

15. New Jersey has the most stringent testing along our coastline for water quality control than any other seaboard state in the entire country. (We don't test on animals, just New Yorkers who create traffic on the Parkway en route to the beach.)

16. New Jersey is a leading technology industrial state and is the largest chemical producing state in the nation when you include pharmaceuticals. (Hear that guys? We produce the most chemicals. That IS something to celebrate. YAY!!)

17. Jersey tomatoes are known the world over as being the best you can buy. (Known by whom?)

18. In 1642, the first brewery in America opened in Hoboken (And since then we've consumed more beer than the other states combined.)

19. New Jersey is a major seaport state with the largest seaport in the US, located in Elizabeth. Nearly 80 percent of what our nation imports comes through Elizabeth Seaport first. (80 percent of legal imports that is.)

20. New Jersey is home to one of the nation's busiest airports (in Newark), Liberty International. (Did anyone else know that Newark International Airport was actually called Liberty Airport? Okay so two of you.)

21. George Washington slept here. Several important Revolutionary War battles were fought on New Jersey soil, led by General George Washington. (This isn't very impressive. If the vast number of historical signs are to be believed, that guy slept around.)

22. The light bulb, phonograph and motion picture projector, were invented by Thomas Edison in his Menlo Park, NJ, laboratory. (Now Menlo Park is more known for having "that mall that isn't the Woodbridge Mall.")

23. The game Monopoly, played all over the world, named the streets on its playing board after the actual streets in Atlantic City. And, Atlantic City has the longest boardwalk in the world. (And I always get stuck with Baltic Ave, North Carolina Ave and only one of the utilities.)

24. New Jersey has the largest petroleum containment area outside of the Middle East countries. (So shouldn't New Jersey have the cheapast gas, since it doesn't have to go very far?)

25. The first Indian reservation was in New Jersey, in the Watchung Mountains. (Uh, I'm not certain why the makers of this list felt this is something to brag about.)

26. New Jersey has the tallest water-tower in the world in Union, NJ (But there's no water in it so it doesn't count.)

27. New Jersey had the first medical center, in Jersey City. (Which they closed or will close down and turn into apartments. Every time we drive by Jersey City Med we shake our heads and wonder who would want to live in probably the most haunted building in Hudson County.)

28. The Pulaski Skyway, from Jersey City to Newark, was the first skyway highway. (And if you get on it going southbound, there's a Jamaican guy who sits right there and smiles at everyone. We toss him some quarters every now and again for good luck, like some sort of ghetto wishing well.)

29. The first baseball game was played in Hoboken, NJ, which is also the birthplace of Frank Sinatra. (But thanks to geography, the game turned into beerball eventually.)

30. The first intercollegiate football game was played in New Brunswick in 1889, Rutgers College played Princeton. (Princeton has a football team???)

31. The first drive-in movie theater was opened in Camden, NJ. (Yeah, that's EXACTLY where I'd want to sit in a stationary vehicle and be distracted from paying attention to potential robbers. Righ in the "most dangerous city in America.")

32. New Jersey is home to both of "NEW YORK'S" pro football teams! (And after this season, ya'll can have the Giants back. Just kidding Kwam.)