July 30, 2002

In The News On A Wednesday

In The News On A Wednesday

Some of these subtitles on Page 2 are funny... Am I the only one who thinks Anna Kournikova is going to win a major singles title one day??? Hahahaha just kidding. I don't really think that. I had to stop the joke early before people start inundating me with offers to sell me a bridge. 27 more days until the U.S. Open.... and counting!! Go Andy Roddick!!

I hate crap like this guy's death sentence being thrown out. He's a waste of time, food, space and money. They should just fry him already. Sorry, HER. They should just fry HER already. It's an open and shut case.

"TRENTON - The state Supreme Court overturned the death sentence of the only woman on New Jersey's death row - a transsexual go-go dancer who admitted killing two cops. Nelson opened fire with an AK-47 rifle and a 9-mm. handgun after the cops went to her house to search for illegal weapons."

No, never mind what I said earlier. She shouldn't be fried. I'm sure she can be rehabilitated (after 35 years of state-funded therapy) to use an M-16 semi-automatic instead of an AK-47 next time she shoots at cops.

Holy shit... this article is interesting as hell:

"N.J. trial in death of drunken driver
Man prosecuted for knowingly letting intoxicated friend drive

KENNETH POWELL, 40, was asleep at home two years ago when police called and asked him to pick up his best friend, Michael Pangle, who had been arrested for drunken driving after a drinking session in a strip club. Powell picked up Pangle and took his friend back to his sport utility vehicle, which was parked beside the road where he had been arrested. Pangle, 37, drove off into the night. Less than an hour later, his SUV collided with another car, killing him and Navy Ensign John Elliott, 22, who was headed to his mother�s birthday party. Tests revealed that Pangle had a 0.26 blood-alcohol content when he died, more than twice the legal limit."

Awww maaaaan.... he killed a 22-year-old sailor on his way to his mother's birthday party?????? Yeah, it's a good thing I'M not on the jury. I'd be like "Yeah, throw the book at that one then dig up his drunk driving-ass friend and kick his body a few times." I think prosecuting people who let others drive drunk is an interesting idea, but it's going to be difficult to follow and uphold. Where do you make the distinctions? Where do you draw the line? What if you're at a party and the person looked fine so you let them drive, but then later on you found out they were smashed? Or what if the person driving was legally drunk but had only had two drinks that you knew they could handle? What if that person was so drunk they didn't realize the other person was drunk? Blood-alcohol level is a tricky thing when used alone to determine anything. My blood-alcohol level is triple what it should be if I even take one shot of tequila, but each and every single one of my friends can tell you that I can nail down ten and still walk straight. But I do think this case is a good idea. People need to realize the consequences of their actions. Your laziness or unwillingness to provoke one of your drunken friends by stopping them from driving might result in the deaths of innocent people who had nothing to do with you or your revelry.

Moving right along...

Not to talk shit about my former employer (you know there's no bad blood there) but did this crap really deserve its own article on MSNBC:

"Los Angeles Sparks center Lisa Leslie records the first ever slam dunk in a women's professional basketball game during Tuesday's game against the Miami Sol."

It's been 5 years since the inception of their league. I'd be embarassed to have this made into a big deal.

My horoscope for today:

"The Sun is in Leo and the Moon is going from Aries into Taurus. You knew there'd be a day of reckoning, and here it is. Don't panic. All you have to do is explain what you've been up to lately. No problem, right?"

WTF?? If I took these things seriously I'd be panicking right now. Like when I would come home from school and see my dad's car parked in the driveway, 3 hours early. I'd know he came home because of something I did and 8 jillion thoughts would run at hyperspeed through my head as I tried to figure out what that was. "Does he know I got sent to the principal's office today? Did Mrs. Larson call him to tell him I'm failing her class? Did my aunt tell him I lied about where I was yesterday?" By the time I'd walk into the house I'd be two steps away from a heart attack.

I want one of these U.S. Army robots. I would use it to send into the kitchen when I'm too lazy to get up from my smooshy reclining couch. "George...give me food and some beer or Riss will blow this kitchen up in T-minus 7 minutes." Yeah. I guess in the final analysis, it's really good I don't have my own country to lead.

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