10 Vodkas and a Roofie
Robin asked Howard this morning how one gets over their fear of terrorism. Howard replied "10 vodkas and a roofie." Sounds good to me. That's probably what it would take to get my ass on a plane these days anyway. Thank God I'm too poor to afford a plane ticket anywhere. Speaking of my being too poor to afford travel these days, my friend Ant (one of the most wonderful people in the entire world) got married the last weekend in June. So CONGRATS ANT AND TESS!!!
Anyway the whole wedding thing is probably a good way to segue into my next topic which is "chick flicks." I've had a craving for chick flicks lately and I have no idea why. I watched Steel Magnolias for the hundredth time this morning before work. On Sunday I watched Serendipity with the former love of my dreamworld John Cusack. Sometime in the last week I've also watched Never Been Kissed, Ever After, Simply Irresistible and French Kiss. When I got to work the song on my playlist was "If You Leave" by OMD which immediately made me want to watch Pretty In Pink. I must be PMS-ing. The flow of estrogen can be the only explanation for this sudden need to watch and re-watch cheesy movies. Normally my action flick to cheesy movie ratio is like 24:1 or so -- I don't know what's wrong with me. Probably nothing a shot of whiskey and two Midols wouldn't cure.
My friend Mike just visited from Cali and he had this camera that takes 30-second videos. So he has incriminating evidence of all of us sitting around playing cards, drinking and talking shit (the Filipino pastime).
Me: Remember how people used to use her nick and pictures of different girls so newbies would pick up on her?
Abel: I never did that.
Me: You fucking liar!! You know you did!! Guys always did that!!
Mike Jimenez: I heard back in Pomona she used to send flowers to herself.
*silence and awwwwwwwws*
Me: Man, that's sad.
*more silence and awwwwwwws*
Mike Jimenez: MAN, FUCK YOU GUYS!!!!! Shit, how come the shit I say is "fucked up" but the shit you say you all laugh about..."
I had to put Mike Jimenez there. I know so many Mikes that you can't even use the first letter of their last names to differentiate them anymore. Damn some of you all have unimaginative parents. Since they're wasting so much time in the public forum debating the Pledge of Allegiance they should waste time for something that's actually useful, like passing a law banning people from naming their kids Mike, John, Jennifer or any name that the average person knows 20 of.
I think it's time to go home. The little hand is past the 3. The people on my side of the floor have been playing this game for the last two hours. I just tried it and I suck at it. It's definitely time to go home.
