Miss Universe isn't Miss Universe anymore. Damn. Of course the one I actually like would get fired. Miss Panama is taking her place. Does anyone know anything about Panama other than it has a canal and drugs? Oh well. Now it also has Miss Universe. She could be some kind of tourist attraction. The brochures could read: "Come see The Canal, snort some coke and SEE MISS UNIVERSE!!!"

Does anyone else think the whole Randy Moss fiasco is kind of funny? I mean, what kind of idiot traffic officer steps in front of a running car? I guess the exam to become a "traffic officer" doesn't include an intelligence portion.

Minnesota State Traffic Officer Official Questionaire:

1. Are you human?
2. Can you speak?
3. Can you wave your arms around?
4. Can you walk?
5. Can you walk and chew gum at the same time?

They don't need to ask whether you can see because everyone knows traffic officers never wave people on correctly anyway. How many times have you been at an intersection directed by a cop and he waves on the people to his right... then the people behind him... then the people to his left... then the people to his right again. Um hello... what about the people in front of you? My favorite part is the fact that they found a "marijuana cigarette" in his car. I guess they can't really say they found a joint, huh?

I was supposed to go out to lunch with one of my friends today, but I did that thing where you're dreaming you're already at lunch and then you wake up and it's 1:00 in the afternoon. I guess I should have known I wasn't really at lunch though, because in my dream we were at lunch in Chinatown and then we were walking through some school filled with Japanese chics who kept giving me shoelaces with rainbows and hearts on them, and rub-on soccer ball tattoos. I felt really bad that I missed lunch though, I was looking forward to it. I've been having crazy insomnia lately so I even took a couple sleeping pills to make sure I got to sleep early. Guess they worked too well.