So I just came home from some strip club "Lace" in Nyack that wouldn't let us in. They said "Oh we can't let you in because you MAY be intoxicated" but they let in 20 white frat boys ahead of us who were vomiting in the parking lot. Nice huh? I think it's wonderful. The worst part is that George wouldn't let me punch out the bouncer. I hate bouncers. I don't think anyone on this planet hates bouncers more than I do. But what can you expect from a police academy reject who couldn't even get a job as a rent-a-cop. I would be more virulent in my hatred if it wasn't for the fact that my unemployment checks are more than his paycheck. What a great country!! In the final analysis, that's what I get for trying to party in Nyack for God's sake. I have no one to blame but myself.

So Lani must be stewing quietly right now. Her man Ben Affleck is rumored to be marrying Jennifer Lopez on Valentine's Day. This must be far worse for her than when Freddie Prinze Jr. married Sarah Michelle Gellar. Actually, I can't remember right now whether or not Lani is annoyed by Jennifer Lopez. It might just be me. I remember that she dislikes Sarah Michelle Gellar because they went to school together and she said she was snotty. But her feelings on "Jlo" (puke... what the hell is that??) are escaping me right now. I might have to lose sleep over this. Oh well, it's 5 months until Valentine's Day which gives Lani plenty of time to interfere in their planned nuptials. I'm actually not kidding. All Lani would have to do is meet Ben Affleck and I'd wager money she'd be in there (or vice versa haha). Sorry.