Ennui and Angst

Ennui and Angst

I'm bored and annoyed. That's got to be the worst combination next to pissed off and trigger-happy. Why, do you ask, am I so annoyed? Okay I know you didn't ask but I'll enlighten you regardless. I'm annoyed because my 45 minute power-nap at 5:30 caused me to miss 24. "But 24 is on at 9:00 and the math doesn't add up" you say. Exactly. I can't even believe this is even an issue. I need a fucking job. Of course, in order for me to procure said fucking job, I need to be actively looking. Actively looking for a fucking job is essential to actually finding a fucking job, or so I've been told by people who possess them. It's been so long since I worked/came into the office and did nothing all day (2.5 months and counting) and even more time since I actually did any work (6.5 months and counting) that I think my brain has forgotten to function in that particular capacity. I'm going to bomb my first few interviews.

HR Guy: So I see you used to work for a brokerage, what did you do there?
Me: Well I started out in Public Relations but eventually transferred myself to the Computer Games and Websurfing Department.
HR Guy: I see. And how long were you at your previous position...
Me: ...before I started swiping office supplies and making personal phone calls?
HR Guy: Tell me why you would be a good addition to this company.
Me: What company is this again?
HR Guy: Didn't you read the company fact sheets we faxed you?
Me: You mean those papers that came out of that beeping machine?
HR Guy: I think we've heard enough to make our decision. We'll be calling you in a couple of days to let you know you're a fucking dildo.

Am I the only person who got laid off and is now half-heartedly treading water in a cesspool of laziness? Half the people from my department who got laid off have already found alternate means of employment. The other half like Paul (who spends so much time shopping for home improvement supplies he will be referred to in future posts as Paul the Home Depot Guy) are actually using this free time to do productive things like fix up their houses or train for marathons. Whaaauuh?

That's it. I'm going to go do something productive now... like lie around in bed because that produces feelings of general contentment and relaxation.

PAYCE!!!!!!!!