Wednesday Thoughts...Wait, it IS Wednesday right???
Scrap that... new title...
Mario Party, Power Lipo and Dog Outfits
It's 6:20 p.m. and I just woke up. The reason for this shameless display of absolute sloth came in the form of a dusty gray box underneath my TV, labeled "N64." Geo and I bought a used copy of Mario Party 3, then went home and removed the N64 gaming system from our closet from whence it was banish-ed after the purchase of Playstation 2. I played it for approximately 7 hours last night, or should I say this morning. That game is fun as hell. It brought back memories of back-in-the-day when Dennis, Chris, me, Joanne and Tony used to spend hours in my cramped little apartment in Newark, playing Mario Party and screaming at our least favorite computer character "Princess Whorebag."
Last night on the news they actually showed some kgetting this new procedure called "Power Lipo." I think it's supposed to make people feel good about choosing to surgically remove their fat, because it sounds like some cheesy workout routine. The whole segment was so nasty I couldn't tear my eyes away from the screen. I was on the phone with Mike at the time and I had to explain to him what I was seeing, so he wouldn't think it was weird that I kept saying "Oh God...I think I'm going to puke. Disgusting. Oh God, it's going back in again. I'm definitely going to vomit." The "it" in question was the surgical tool they saw in and out of the body to suction out the fat. It was about 24 inches long and thicker than a TV antennae... it pretty much looked like a modern-day instrument of torture, except that after you're tortured you get up with sleeker thighs. The chic that was doing it didn't even have a bad body, certainly not who you'd picture when you think the word "liposuction." But then again, as Kwame's girl Kesha said last Friday, it's often the women with almost perfect bodies who aren't happy with their own bodies. The case in point at the time was some 5-4 190 pound woman standing at the bar, in all her scraps-of-spandex glory. Even my flyest friends wouldn't have rocked that outfit. By that time of the night, Geo, Lani, Mandy, Keisha, Kwame and I were at "Justin's" in the city, which attracts all sorts of interesting characters, since it belongs to Puffy. They even have shit on the menu like the "P Diddy Martini" or something gay like that, but not anything like "Potato Puffys" which I would have found extremely amusing because I'm a dork. Yes, I know. Puns are the lowest form of humor.
Speaking of humor, does anyone else think this picture of Bailey is funny?
I just wanted to see if he would fit. I don't think it counts as cruelty to animals because after I took a quick picture I gave him a treat and he licked my elbow, which is pretty cruel itself in its disgustingness. Anyway putting Bailey in a shopping bag isn't as cruel as people who dress their dogs up in weird little outfits. Why would anyone want to see their dog dressed up as a French maid?? Talk about some hidden issues.
Does anyone else find the idea of Manute Bol playing hockey a trifle bizarre? What if he gets body-checked against the glass and he breaks in half? Just wondering.
By the way... for all you people out there who do nothing but suck Laker dick all day long, THIS is your beloved championship team without the big, hulking giant who camps out under the basket.
