Long Nights and Real Friends

Long Nights and Real Friends
Ambiance: "Feeling This" by Blink182

I have to pee. But am I in the bathroom, peeing? No. I'm out here on the comp writing on my blog. Sometimes I wonder about myself. Anyhoo, speaking of Blink182, Geo and I are starting a petition to ban Tom from being able to sing any vocals on any of their songs. He's a talented songwriter and all but his voice makes me want to yank my hair out and throw it at him. Not that my hair needs much encouragement to come out. Apparently one of the beauty issues mothers must deal with post-childbirth is hair loss. Isn't that pleasant. As if the puffy little belly pouch wasn't enough, I'm also going to be bald. Try not to drool when I walk down the street everyone.

I am online window shopping (how's that for sad) and Geo is drumming right now. We probably should be sleeping since we were up half the night last night because one of our girls is sick. But that is where all the drunken nights actually end up benefiting us as parents, and not just the drunken night that resulted in us being parents. Or rather my night of drunkeness. Geo was actually sober, the illusion of drunkeness was essential to his nefarious plot to impregnate me. But I digress. My point is when you've spent years doing shots of tequila, Jaeggermeister, Blackhaus and God knows what else from 8pm-4am then getting up for work at 7... 5 1/2 fragmented hours of sleep is plenty.

Mike came by yesterday with random gifts for the girls. Mike rocks. Which reminds me of a conversation Paul and I had right after his son and my daughters were born. You know what having kids does for you? It lets you know who your real friends are.

List of People Who Are Real Friends

1. People who respond to your birth announcements
2. People who take the time to ask you how your kids are doing
3. People who send you some form of congratulatory note, gift or card upon learning of their existence.
4. People who come by and see your kids.

List of People Who Are NOT Real Friends

1. People who ignored your birth announcement but managed to find time to respond to some idiot forward or pass on a chain letter (YOU SHALLOW FUCKS)
2. People who come to the door to drop something off but don't come inside to see the babies (Thanks, don't let my foot hit your ass on the way back to the car)
3. People who don't bother keeping in touch now that I can't drink with them from sunset to sunrise anymore (Hello, college was 7 years ago. You're only allowed to keep truckin like that in the years directly after you graduate).
4. People who cough on me knowing I will be going home to infants. Just kidding on that one, these are usually just strangers. Most people that know me are smart enough not to cough on me.

By the way, I think my mom is trying to get herself more grandchildren. She sent me some rather scandalous underwear from the Philippines. The kind that if you threw it on the table, would only hide a Skittle or something smaller. So..... how should I end this post. Oh. "If you want to destroy my swe-ater. Pull this thread as I walk away...."