High School Reunion

High School Reunion
So my newest "Reality-TV-show-that-makes-you-want-to-vomit-because-people-like-this-actually-exist-but-you-can't-stop-watching" is the WB's High School Reunion. Pretty much they grabbed a bunch of people from some dinky little high school in Texas and got them together in Hawaii 10 years later. They made sure to throw in the players, the hoes, the prom court, the nerds, the gay guy and the ugly ducklings who are kind of almost-swans. The main storyline is that The Captain of the Football Team was dating 3 chics and one (The Head Cheerleader) may or may not have gotten pregnant and he married her. So the two leftover broads have come back with a vengeance to wreak havoc on The Couple who married, had two kids and are now divorced but may or may not be trying to work it out. It's great, it doesn't get any trashier than this.

Some thoughts:

1. The Head Cheerleader looks (to use Geo's word) "broken." She says she came on this show expressly to win back her husband. Um hello, your husband still has abs of steel and perfect hair. He obviously values physical appearance. And you came here looking like that? The weeks before your flight to Hawaii should have been filled with words like "treadmill" "hot oil treatment" "treadmill" "facial" "flattering hairstyle" "treadmill."

2. I'm digging on the Homecoming Queen taking on the Sophomore Slut Squad. I'm not a big fan of Cheergirl but the fact of the matter is, they have TWO KIDS TOGETHER. But these people are all still in the high school mentality so no one has thought to point that out yet.

3. The announcer keeps saying Cheergirl "terrorized" Sophomore Slut #1 but uh... SS1 was trying to take her man. High school can be a pretty vicious place when you pull shit like that. Haven't you read those crazy teen murder stories in the newspapers. You got these young, deluded teenagers with raging hormones fixating on someone and thinking that person is the only person they'll ever get for the rest of their lives. Problem is you would have thought they would have learned The Lesson by now that there are plenty of people out there.

4. What kind of losers hold these kinds of torches for 10, 14 years, for someone they weren't even married to or going out with when they were old enough to purchase cigarettes. What a dumb pack of broads. He ain't even all that (though he is fly).

5. Ugly Duckling Guy is supposed to be sexy and mysterious but he reminds me of a 16-year-old-boy with a fake ID, hanging out at a college bar. "Those flowers look really good in your hair" oh God give me a break.

6. This show almost makes me wish I went to high school in Middle America. When you grow up in a large city you don't get the full high school experience because outside influences are always coming in. And a lot of people have boyfriends or girlfriends at other schools so there's less "in-breeding." Most of the people at my high school didn't even speak English. The largest classes were the ESL (English As A Second Language) classes. Maybe there was drama going on there and I just didn't know it because I don't speak Spanish. Drama for our school was usually race riots, so-and-so getting beat, drive-bys and other shit. Which the people in my magnet class were only partially aware of I assume. Unfortunately we were often like the city on the hill.

7. This show rocks. It totally satisfies the trashy TV void left in my life by the first Joe Millionaire.

Geo and I can't stop laughing. People are sobbing hysterically on TV and we're watching them and laughing our asses off. Does that makes us horrible people. I think it just may.

Sophomore Slut #2:: He was dating three of us at once.
Riss: Hey Geo they should have you on this show.

Sophomore Slut #1:: Oh God he married her and he was the love of my life *cry*
Geo: Ten years and you're still crying over him you stupid slut.

Sophomore Slut #1:: I'm going to make him want me.
Riss: Translation, she's going to spread her legs with a quickness.
Geo: I'm still waiting for someone to point out that they have two kids together.
Riss: Keep waiting.

Sophomore Slut #1: I want to know why he broke up with me.
Homecoming Queen: He probably didn't care about you
Riss and Geo: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!