High School Reunion Again

High School Reunion Again

Okay the gay stripper party was a riot. Politically Correct people can bitch about The Redneck all they want but you gotta give the guy some credit. He's a homophobe who put on a skirt on national television to celebrate a gay guy's birthday. How often do you see that happening. Geo says The Redneck is just worried he'll dig on it if the stripper guy comes over and rubs himself up on him. Yeah, I could see him going home to Texas and jerking off to gay porn when the little wife leaves for her PTA meeting. The boxing match was funny too. The Gay Guy hits like a girl, which I really don't understand. He's still a guy right, albeit one who likes men. So why does he hit like a girl? If you ask me all gay men should take pugilism lessons. No straight guy is going to gay-bash on someone who could whoop their ass in front of all their friends.

Pipsqueak-turned-"Hot-Guy"-Who-To-Me-Still-Looks-Like-A-Doofus is pulling out all stops. His mysterious looks and practiced moves are multiplying exponentially. It's getting to the point where he can't even open a bag of chips or flush the toilet without running his hands through his hair and turning around to gaze at Sophomore Slut #3 through heavy-lidded eyes.

Sophomore Slut 3: It's just in real life, men don't normally go after me this way.
Pipsqueak: This is real life. I'm a real person.
Riss: I can't believe she's falling for these gay ass lines.
Sophomore Slut 3: It's like the moment you stepped out of the van you've paid attention to me and made me feel so good.
Geo: That's because he knew you'd fall for his shit.
Riss: Yes, you were the obviously easy hit. Banging an insecure broad is like taking candy from a baby.

The Homecoming Queen/Quarterback storyline is finally getting interesting. They're alone in a house together in Hawaii and... smooches on the cheek galore. WOO-HOO!!!! Fire in the hole. No I'm just kidding. She's smart as hell. He's drinking beer but she hasn't touched a drop of liquor. You go girl.

Homecoming Queen: I'm just so confused, I've got this great relationship at home with a great guy and then I'm here with you.
Quarterback: Forget everything else, all those other things. We have feelings between us.
Geo: Aww man don't play that card.
Riss: What card should he have played?
Geo (laughing): He should have said "Why be with a zero when you can be with a hero??"
Riss: HAHAHAHAHA oh man...

The producers are really setting up Cheergirl-Who-Wants-The-Jock-Back for failure. Her "hall pass" with him was a picnic. His hall pass with Sophomore Slut #1 was an all-day treat of parasailing, dinner and drinks at a local club, then a moonlit stroll on the beach. HELLO!!! Once again, they have two kids together you vultures!!!!

Okay Sophomore Slut #1 is on my last nerve. She is definitely going on my List of Reality TV People I Want To Place On A Desert Island and Firebomb, which so far consists of Evan Marriott and Melissa the Jewish American Princess from the first Joe Millionaire, Kimberly "The Skank" Caldwell from the second American Idol and Katrina/Ereka the dumb broads of The Apprentice.

I'm starting to think SS1 and The Captain should end up together, so they can procreate and add some more people into the world who are just as dumb as them. Which is really what we need these days.

The Captain: I really like Heather (Sophomore Slut #1) because she's fun and just wants to have a good time.
Riss: You know why your wife isn't as "fun" as her, you moronic sperm-for-brains musclebound ass demon? Because she's at home all day taking care of and raising your two children.
Geo: He's gonna nail her.
Riss: A 16-year-old waving a pint of Guinness could nail her.