Skimming The News On A Saturday
They've just figured out that men get depressed when seeing ads of muscular men. They start feeling unattractive and below par. I bet these are the same men who promote the Barbie doll physique for women, fucking hypocrites. Damn, payback's a bitch. All this article tells me is that people are ridiculous. You know the archetype for a woman's body splashed all over women's magazines are perpetuated by men and insecure women. But the archetype for a man's perfect body is perpetuated by men also. You don't see those musclebound men in Vogue. They're in magazines like Men's Health and GQ and Men's Fitness. Women don't give a crap how strong a man's body is. They give a crap about how strong his bank account is. We're mercenary, not shallow.
Lawsuits may be the answer to fighting obesity. So THAT'S why so many Americans are fat. I always thought it was because they ate too much. But apparently it's because they are the target of too much advertising. So I guess advertisers are the root of all evil. They are responsible for underage drinking, smoking, promiscuity and now obesity. Technically they're also responsible for global warming because those commercials for aerosol hairspray are really enticing. I say next time you meet someone who works in advertising, just take him outside and shoot him. Make the world a better place.
I think Geo and I are sociopaths because the Iraqi prisoner abuse scandal has no effect on us. We looked at the pictures and giggled over the more amusing ones, like the guy standing naked on some random electrocution machine, while the female soldier pointed at his bits and pieces. Sorry if I can't seem to muster up a tear for former members of Saddam's regime. Perhaps if they're bent over and gang-raped like they did to women in their heyday, then I'll be able to muster up some sympathy. "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!!" Sorry, had to capitalize on the movie quote opportunity.
What is this judge thinking... Doesn't she realize that the most important right we have in this great country is the right of coke addicts to spawn as many coke-addicted children as they possibly can? I swear some people don't read the Constitution. It's right there in plain English, between the words "freedom of speech" and "press." In fact, the exact phrasing is "freedom to populate this nation with as many underweight, brain-damaged, coke-addicted children as humanely possible, while voluntarily remaining under the yoke of drug addiction."
Chris Rock is the man. That's all. My favorite quote from this interview with him is: "My cursing is my punctuation." Damn straight!!!
Okay if I'm quoting interviews then I'm really reaching. Happy Saturday.
