Friendster

Friendster
So when I was in the hospital I discovered the wonderful world of Friendster, which has provided me with hours of endless hysteria. It's a website that I think started out as a gay singles network and branched out into a more interesting version of classmates.com. It's fun to see pictures of people you haven't seen in over 10 years (holy shit I'm old) and catch up on their lives without actually having to make small talk. I know, that's pretty idiotic of me. But just because I haven't spoken to someone in over a decade, and make no effort to even though I can, doesn't mean I don't care!! No really, it doesn't. It doesn't!! Assholes. Why won't you believe me. This is what happens when you're an ass. Your friends are all asses as well.

Anyway, every so often I wander onto some person's page that I know and what they say really cracks me up. Why do people lie so much? Just tell it like it is. You can barely write a lucid paragraph or hold a semi-intelligent conversation... But you want people to believe your favorite book is Dostoevsky's The Brothers Karamazov?? Really??? A "favorite book" is normally defined as one you prefer to read above all others, meaning you had to have actually read it once. Normally multiple times, as "favorite" implies. Oh and the Cliff Notes version doesn't count. Or what about people who put "entrepreneur" or "student" in their occupation instead of "unemployed." If I didn't have the girls that's what I would have put because my ass would still be scheming ways to avoid corporate America. And how about those guys that actually put their salary up there? Might as well put "willing to pay for sex." Oh and don't get me started on those guys that network themselves to wannabe porn stars (that I think are really quasi-heterosexual guys getting off on reading all the "damn bitch you is fine" e-mails.) Do these guys REALLY think that people see them networked to pseudo porn stars and think "Dang, that guy is so cool!!" Or do they just not realize that people see it and think "What a fucking idiot." Or what about those chics that lie about their age. Woman what the hell do you have "26" on there for... there is no shame in being 30!!

Friendster is also a virtual aesthetic Utopia. Every testimonial on there describes the physical beauty of the subject. Which would be fine if Friendster didn't have pictures. Just once I'd like to read "Give me a paper bag and a dark room and I'd bang this bitch." Yeah I know the person probably wouldn't approve it. But it'd be funny as hell. Or "Yeah this guy is cute but on a scale of 1 to 10 I'd probably give him a 6." Or even better "This guy is hot but only from the side. And only if he keeps his mouth closed because his teeth are kinda fucked."

Nahh I'm just playing around. I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I've gone out with some guys I thought were hot at the time and now I just think I must have been on crack. La la... speaking of which. Since I'm already on shallow ground, is it shallow to be surprised when one of your hot friends dates an ugly guy with no personality? I mean some of my hot chick friends are with men who aren't all that, but they are funny, intelligent and mentally stable. So it never occurs to me that the relationship might be lopsided because she's hot and he's not so much. But if your hot friend is dating a guy who is physically unattractive AND has a lame personality then is it okay to comment on the contrast in their looks? Or is it okay anyway because in the end you're just expecting your friend to find someone who is the complete package? I mean looks aren't that important, but is it realistic to expect that in a society like ours that they be completely UNimportant? Just wondering. And this is all hypothetical anyway because when was the last time you heard me ask if it was okay to say something prior to actually saying it?