Marital Discussions on Finance

Marital Discussions on Finance

Me: Hey, would you let some random guy bang me if he offered us one million dollars?
Geo: Yup.
Me: What if he was hot and had like a 10-inch dick.
Geo: Then I'd want to watch, I'd be like "Alright, let's see you take this thing." I'd even help him.
Me: You mean like "Are her legs high enough? Do you want them higher?"
Geo: "Do you need a soda? Maybe a sandwich?"
Me: Is one million tax-free your minimum?
Geo: Yup.
Me: What if he offered $999,999?
Geo: Nope. One million is my minimum.
Me: But it's just a dollar.
Geo: Well wait, what could we do with that?
Me: Well we could put the girls through school and buy a house.
Geo: Can you write your book first before we discuss selling you.
Me: Hey what if he wanted to bang YOU?
Geo: I'd do it.
Me: Really?
Geo: Yup.
Me: What would be YOUR minimum?
Geo: $75,000
Me: REALLY????
Geo: Nahhh, $750,000. So that's $1,750,000 for the both of us.
Me: Well you'd have to give him a discount I think. Both of us for $1,500,000.
Geo: Why?
Me: It's good business practice. Like those limes we bought today. They were 30 cents each but when you buy 10 you get them all for a dollar.
Geo: I guess.
Me: Would you still do it if it was the 10-inch dick man?
Geo: Depends.
Me: On what?
Geo: Well how far would it have to go?
Me: All the way.
Geo: Is that even possible?
Me: Sure, you're stretchy.
Geo: 10 inches is like to here. It would hit my jugular.
Me: Don't exaggerate. It would just push your intestines aside a bit. Okay back to me. Would you still want me to do it if he was hot AND you had to watch for like 5 hours.
Geo: No, I don't think so.
Me: So you'd want it to be like I crept off, came back with a million bucks and we never spoke of it ever?
Geo: Nahh I'd watch. To see if you'd enjoy it.
Me: So then I'd have to pretend not to the whole time?
Geo: So you would enjoy it?
Me: Well he's hot!!!
Geo: And rich.
Me: And has a 10-inch penis. What if he wanted to videotape it?
Geo: Oh hell no. Then it'd be all over the internet and people would be asking you "Why don't you run off with that guy? He's rich and has a 10-inch penis."
Me: If I did we'd only have sex like once every two months. I'd need time to recover.
Geo: It'd be like giving birth every two months.
Me: Yup. Do they make lubricants with aenesthesia? You know, just in case.

I think we're both full of shit though. I know for a fact Geo is full of shit, no way in hell would he be okay with the backdoor bonanza. Then again I asked one of my guy friends (who shall remain nameless but I could be persuaded to post his picture) if he would take it up the ass for a million dollars tax-free and he said yes, but only if it was absolutely guaranteed that no one would ever find out about it. It's weird that some guys are so homophobic they're more bothered by the idea of people knowing they did it than the actual act itself.

Back to me and Geo though, I still think we're just talking big game. Ask us again if someone's crazy enough to indecently propose to us.