So yesterday was pretty action-packed. We had a birthday party for Paul's uber cute son Jake to attend during the day, then Geo's cousin Mildred's wedding to go to at night. The birthday party was fun (Thanks Paul and Jamie!!) and the food was super ultra yummy. I ate: steamed, chilled crab legs and shrimp, oysters, a fresh mozarella and tomato sandwich, deviled eggs, pasta in a basil-olive oil type sauce, cauliflower in spinach dip and some neat little club sandwiches. Yes I was a pig. But it was really really good. Everyone knows I can't resist good food. I mean why would I. That's like turning down free money. I once asked myself would I rather have really awesome sex for the rest of my life and bland food every day, or amazing food every day and generic sex for the rest of my life. It was a very difficult question to ponder. In fact, I asked myself that two years ago and still don't have an answer.
After the party, Geo and I headed home to change and get ready for the family gala event of the year. The wardrobe issue was a little tricky. I knew I would be drinking a whole lot so I went with my fail-safe little black dress. When you drink a whole lot the midsection puffs out a little to accomodate for the extra liquid. The little black number disguises that better than my red dress. Of course, after three or four or ten shots you really don't care anymore. And we all did a whole lot more than that. I know I drank two glasses of merlot and did at least 6 SoCo and lime shots and 6 tequila shots and 3 lemon drops and 3 kamikazes but after that I lost count. Net, Janelle, Aris, Sean and Manny were doing a shitload of shots too and let me tell you that by the time they served dinner we were all pretty drunk. Here are the before pictures:
And here are the after pictures:
That one pic is Net cockblocking her own brother as he tried to dip me. Then she jumped into Manny and Janelle's kinky little pic. Hey you know what they say. If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in the family. Geo is pretty much sober though, because he had to drive home. Aris and Sean are so wasted they're not even pictured, they were in the lobby too drunk and tired to move. We had a great time but as usual, Net and I got a bit loud and obnoxious while drunk. I mean, we're loud and obnoxious enough when we're sober. When we're drunk people run for cover, like oh my God, these two people are insane. Mildred married a really nice Persian guy, and so they played Persian music for 3 hours. Which is understandable but Net and I really wanted to dance so we tried to get the DJ to play something else. We go up to him and the exchange goes like this:
Net: What should I say?
Me: Ask him to play a couple hip-hop songs.
Net: I don't want to dance to hip-hop.
Me: So ask him to play whatever you want as long as it's in English.
Net (to the DJ): *both palms down on the booth for effect* "Ya got any music in ENGLISH???"
Okay I grabbed her and ran. I didn't quite mean for her to quote me directly, I was just trying to say that anything she picked was fine by me. We couldn't stop laughing though, the DJ gave us the look of death. In our defense, of which there is very little, this was after about 10 shots. I mean by the end of the night we weren't even requesting drinks anymore. We were just walking up to Joseph the bartender and waiting for whatever he gave us. Someone would yell "SHOTS!!!!!" and we would all hightail it to the bar and then browbeat anyone who had the misfortune to approach the bar at the same time into doing shots with us. Yes, we were THOSE people. Good times. That was the best wedding ever. It's fun to get smashed with the family. And of course, Congratulations to Mildred and Amir. The food was great, the bridesmaid dresses were gorgeous, we had a wonderful time and everything was beautiful, especially the bride. May your marriage be long and happy and filled with children who don't grow up and act like your insane brothers, sister-in-law, cousins and cousin-in-law.
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