A Few More Olympic Thoughts

A Few More Olympic Thoughts

-Paul Hamm is the man. The guys just left me speechless, something that happens very rarely. Okay I wasn't speechless. I was like "Oh my fucking God what the-- holy shit what the fuck yo this guy is the man!!!!!!" He was just amazing in those last two rounds. I loved it that he was celebrating because he thought he had possibly come back to win the bronze, then found out he won the gold. I felt bad for the South Korean guy though, he was crying. I know I always say men shouldn't cry but I think he gets a pass on this one. Imagine your entire life, all your hard work every day, thousands of hours of practice, culminating to one final event and then BOOM... all of it is meaningless thanks to .012 of a point. To us of course it isn't meaningless but I think to him at that moment it must have felt like it was. And yes, I teared up during the medal ceremony when they played our national anthem.

-Apparently this "Dream Team" is the most despised group of people in Athens. I find that eminently laughable and extremely appropriate. All I can say is poor Tim Duncan. He's not like the rest of his teammates but he's getting dragged down nonetheless. I won't go so far as to say that I *hope* the U.S. gets shut out of medals but I sure would laugh my ass off.

-I love that AT&T commercial they keep running during the games on NBC, the one with the trojan horse. "I need to look at your data, I hear you have some data in there." HAHAHA yeah I know. Dorky humor but I love it. The commercials have been pretty good, better than the Super Bowl commercials which have gotten exponentially bad in the last few years. Geo's favorite Olympics commercial is the Serta one with the guy that does the high jump onto the top bunk of a bunk bed then goes to sleep right away. He always laughs when that one comes on.

-I don't understand people who claim to love sports, but don't care about the Olympics. Huh? How does that make any sense? That's like saying you love porn as long as there's no actual sex shown. Skinemax is not porn.

-Jim Courier is normally annoying as all hell during tennis broadcasts, with his self-absorbed "players viewpoint." But he did say something good during the Nicolas Massu's win over Carlos Moya. He said it was nice to see two players who normally compete each week for hundreds of thouands of dollars, be so excited and tense because they're representing their country. Idealistically speaking, it's nice to see people place more importance on nationalism than monetary gain.

-Hooray for Amanda Beard. I laughed out loud during one of her heats yesterday. I guess one of the swimming commentators is gay and the other isn't. Probably a former swimmer and some old sports guy. Because the hetero guy said "I love watching Amanda Beard" in this pretty lascivious tone of voice. And the other guy said "Oh yeah she's a phenomenal swimmer" and went on to describe in technical terms, her swimming prowess. Meanwhile the other guy was blatherine on about her bikini spread in FHM magazine.

-Since there were no Americans in the 100 free, I was rooting for Croatia. This may sound stupid but I was doing it for Toni Kukoc. Same reason I rooted for them during the 1998 World Cup. Geo was rooting for Algeria, because they'd never won a medal in swimming before.

-Dude, mellowcreme pumpkins rock. Sorry, that's not an Olympic thought.

-Michael Phelps needs to throw a big fat "AND WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!" to his detractors that said he was all hype. Geo and I both voted before the start of the games that he would take home 5 gold medals. And you all thought nothing good could come from voting on internet polls. How about .06 nanoseconds of personal validation?? And what. Speaking of which, I'm old. Instead of looking at this guy and going "Damn swimmers have hot bodies" I'm instead thinking "Oh his mother must be so proud!" Then again I am 9 years older than him. And being that I lack a penis, have no pedophilic instincts whatsoever. Is that even a word.

-I'm bummed that Andy Roddick is out. But he'll take the gold in Beijing in four years. You read it here first. Speaking of which, what the hell is the Olympics doing in Beijing in 2008? Isn't there some rule that the host country has to have plumbing? Just kidding. Azerbaijan in 2016!!!!!! Specifically, Baku. We could steal some oil while we're there. Two birds with one stone. Bring home Olympic medals AND oil. For a man that would be like getting a blowjob while watching Sportscenter. For a woman that would be like a man cleaning the kitchen while he makes dinner.