Olympic Thoughts Part 4

Olympic Thoughts Part 4

Yes, I think of really creative post titles.

1. I'm a bit ashamed to admit this but you know I've always been honest on here. Mike J, Aud, Geo and I laughed our asses off during the 100 meter hurdles race. It was that type of laughter you can't help, like when you're talking to your boss about something important but his fly is open. It was just so damn funny. The Canadian chic straight took the Russian out, just knocked her right out of the race. And the Russian chic clawed the Canadian across the face as she fell, practically fish hooked her. I didn't think they should re-run the race. It's all part of the sport. And really, is there anyone out there who isn't Russian, and thinks that chic had any shot in hell of getting a medal?

2. The best quote of the entire games came during NBC's feel-good segment on the Iraqi soccer team. Bob Costas said he spoke to an Iraqi fan who said "I'm still really proud. We went out and showed the world that we're not just a bunch of people with AK-47s and rocket-propelled grenades." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. They're not. They're people with AK-47s, rocket-propelled grenades AND cleats.

3. Just watching someone take a spill during the cycling event is painful. "Track burn" has to be up there on the list of injuries that aren't TOO serious but just suck to hell and back. Like a "groin pull" or getting shot in the buttcheek a bunch of times with a paintball gun.

4. Thank you Jim Litke, for having some balls and saying what a lot of people are thinking but not saying because they're afraid of looking like an Ugly American. Oh and more thanks for not being a pussy like that preaching-to-the-masses-from-his-moral-high-horse, ass-kissing Mike Celizic.

5. Okay the best part of this article about Bryan Clay is his comment that he's heard venereal disease runs rampant throughout the Olympic Village. Kwame and I were just saying the other day how we were sure that Andy Roddick was banging international girls left and right, now that he was out of the Games. Like his very own United Nations of Ass. And Mandy Moore wanted him to settle down. Why settle down when you can bang 43 women of different nationalities in 12 days?

6. The doping scandals kind of make me laugh. Like they're sad and all, but I feel like a lot of athletes do it who are getting away with it. Okay, might as well point fingers. I mean the Chinese female athletes. I'm sorry but if those big ass muscular women aren't doing steroids, I'll eat my mousepad.

7. You have to give the marathon winner from Japan a lot of credit, that course was scary as hell. Some of those inclines I wouldn't even want to walk down, much less run. She rocked while the "favorite" sat down in the 21st mile and cried.

8. We didn't know what his name was (Hicham El Guerrouj) so during the men's 1500 meter run Mike, Aud and I were just screaming "Come on Moroccan guy!!!!!!!!!" When he won we were cheering and celebrating like we had just won the lottery. We're really stupid sometimes.

9. Josh Belzman thinks gymnastics has no place in the Olympics. I think part of me agrees, despite the fact that it's the sport I enjoy watching the most every four years. I think gymnasts are amazing athletes. More than once during the Olympics they amaze me with their strength and grace. But the judging is just getting too ridiculous. Two words: Svetlana Khorkina. Is there anyone who isn't a judge and isn't Russian that didn't think she absolutely blew in every event she competed in? And yet she went home with some mighty fine souvenirs around her neck. I don't give a shit what she did in competitions past. She was sloppy and awkward every time I saw her. But they'd give her high ass scores like it was nobody's business. It's sickening. And don't be afraid to CHANGE A GUY'S SCORE because the crowd complained. Are you fucking kidding me? What a joke.

9b. On MSNBC.com 18% of people who took this poll said that "Activities that involve judges aren't sports." That's foul. But really funny.

10. Out of respect for my former employer, I feel compelled to add a note about the USA women's basketball team. Just kidding. I don't have anything to say. And I have about as much respect for my former employer as I do for gymnastics judges.