Weird Dreams

Weird Dreams

I am really wanting someone who analyzes dreams for a living, to tell me why this weird building I've never actually been in and my parents' home in L.A. are always in my dreams. So a couple nights ago I dreamed I was in the weird building which in past dreams has been an apartment complex, dormitory, hospital or hotel. This time it's a hotel and my Dad is blasting "La Bamba" at 1 in the morning. I can't get him to shut it off so I leave in search of the hotel bar. On my way there I end up in an elevator which is full of people from different floors complaining that a whole slew of rooms are blasting "La Bamba" so it's like some weird Richie Valens-disease infecting the guests. I guess this is what I get for watching Medical Investigation the night before. It wasn't even very good.

Later on the dream switches to my house in L.A. which apparently has been magically moved to New Jersey. Geo and I, Aud, Abel and some people I supposedly know are sitting around playing video games in my room. Aud and I are taking turns conversing on the phone with my friend Paul, who's supposed to come over with his wife Jamie. After we hang up, the phone rings again and the caller I.D. says "barn." I get confused because our imaginary barn doesn't have a telephone in it. No one wants to answer the phone because they're all freaked, so finally I pick it up. The multiple voices on the other line start asking me questions like "Is that chair in the living room comfy?" They're pretty much saying they can see me like in the movie Scream. So I look out the window towards the barn and three big guys in bright yellow T-shirts (they look like The Fat Boys) are standing on the barn's um, balcony (yes my imaginary barn has a balcony.)

So I tell my dad to call 911 but then I wake up because Geo is poking me with the telephone in real life and saying "It's Audrey." Her phone call in real life must have triggered the call from the "barn."

Last month I dreamt that we were driving by Paul's house and he was having some sort of arts and crafts lesson on his front lawn and didn't invite us!! Meanie. They were making homemade frames and everything. When I walked up he sheepishly explained that it wasn't supposed to be a big deal, but a whole bunch of his wife's relatives showed up for the class and it turned into a barbeque. Didn't recognize anyone in the crowd except Dave, one of my former bosses from work. He was making a basket or something.

The dream goes on through a bunch of bullshit then goes back to Paul and Jamie's house. In real life they live in a two-bedroom home in Woodbridge. In my dream they lived in this really old but really enormous mansion. It was about three stories, with huge columns in the front, straight out of Gone With The Wind. The architecture was gorgeous, New Orleans-style with gold trim near the roof, but the house needed a lot of work done. Geo and I came over to see if Paul needed any help fixing up the place before some shindig they were throwing. Paul was in this side room that was partially underground. It was enormous. Like football-field enormous. He was smoothing over cracks with concrete and had red plastic tarp thrown all over the place. Jamie was in and out making food. In my dream she made some really good eclairs.

Mike J, Kuen, Tony and Mike C come over to help out. I ask Paul if he has a baby monitor we can use since Jamie is sleeping in the bedroom already with their son Jake, and our girls are sleeping in the room he usually sleeps in. He goes to look for the monitor. After awhile I go search for him and he's been sidetracked in the downstairs master bedroom. There's a bottle of that men's cologne Brut bigger than a champagne bottle and an even larger bottle of some women's perfume shaped like Poeme. I'm like "Oh my God Paul you wear Brut???" (said in the same tone of voice one would say "Oh my God, you spread feces on yourself?") He is appalled and explains the bottles belonged to the former owners, along with all the other junk in the house. We locate the monitor and head upstairs.

When I go back to the football field room, Mike J has busted out these little bags with potato chips, hash browns and butterscotch candy in them and is handing them around. I say "what kind of crazy ass grab bags are these" but take one anyway and it's kinda gross but still I eat it because I'm so hungry. Then I woke up.

The next day I dreamt it was my girl Lety's birthday so I said goodbye to Geo who was hanging out with like 10 of my uncles, then went to party. I went with Lety, a bunch of people from elementary school who I haven't even thought about in 15 years and Geo's cousins to some totally wack bar. We head to the women's room first and it's packed but Janelle is making me laugh because she's expressing breastmilk and it hits the mirrors. After we exited the restroom we walked past a communal washing area with like 30 sinks being used by men, one of whom is washing a metal globe. We try to leave the bar but the way out is blocked by a big garbage truck and some dumpsters. Then my phone rang and woke me up but I didn't really care because it was kind of a weird dream and it didn't even have any sex in it dammit.