February 8, 2005

Another Food Post From Your Friendly Neighborhood Food Whore

Another Food Post From Your Friendly Neighborhood Food Whore

"Cookie Cookie Cookie Starts With C"
This is the kind of shit that happens in rural areas. They fine kids for baking cookies and delivering them at night. If that shit happened in Jersey City the judge would look at the old broad and say "Bitch, take yourself home and stop wasting my fucking time." Then when the woman went outside, her car would be gone. Ahhh.... Jersey City. If the kids around here baked me cookies they'd probably be made of petrified dog shit and crack.

Soul Food
On Saturday, Kwame and Kesha came over and we hit up Mo'Dish in Hillside for what Kwame calls "The best soul food I've ever had and I'm black so that's saying a lot." Oh my God it really is though. Their mac and cheese is amazing. Like you eat a bite then stare at your spoon in awe and say "I can't believe this is mac and cheese." Their cornbread is so sweet and light it crumbles in your mouth. The fried chicken is crispy and tasty, the seafood is well seasoned and perfectly cooked and the collard greens are delicious. I mean it's not as near and dear to my mouth as Indian food, but it's a close second. Or third. I forgot about the Chinese buffet place in Sayreville with crab claws the size of my arm.

Me or Geo's New Wife
So Geo and I are both in foodlust with a new chef on the Food Network, Giada De Laurentiis. She's the host of Everyday Italian. She looks like Natalie Portman and makes the most amazing dishes, creative but simple. Every time her show is on, the whole family is entranced. Geo said he would divorce me and keep me on the side as his mistress, which I totally agreed to because he promised to bring me three of her meals a day. But then after awhile I started thinking "Hey wait, why should *I* get the leftovers and *he* gets his meals steaming hot off the grill?" So now we're fighting over her. Especially after she made that "Berries with Mascarpone and Meringue" on Saturday.

Movies About Food
I'm really annoyed by the scarcity of movies about food. Currently in my DVD collection are Eat Drink Man Woman, Like Water For Chocolate and Chocolat. All are foreign films. That makes no sense. With Americans being so fat and all, we should be at the forefront of the movies-about-food-making-industry. What I need is a friend who's a connoisseur of Indian movies. Then I can find one about Indian food. You know there has to be some out there, Bollywood puts out almost a thousand movies every year. I also want one about Filipino food, Italian food and Japanese food. I pretty much just want the United Nations of movies about food in my DVD collection.

The Aftereffects
I am going to be stuffing my face again tonight. I just did an hour of pilates to prepare. And I will keep myself on the exercise bike a bit longer than usual. I swear all my working out is just to counter the effects of all the crap I eat. When me, Kesha and Kwam were at Target on Saturday, they were running around veto-ing food that was bad for them. I was there with shit like creme brulee cookies and pizza-flavored Chex Mix in my cart and they were sitting there with Crystal Light and pretzels or something. Oh well. What can you do. I already tried the whole eating healthy thing. I went through alfalfa sprouts-induced-psychosis and almost killed someone with a bran muffin.

No comments: