Reader Poll

Reader Poll

You guys know all about my life, so now I'd like to know a little something about yours. Preferably, a listing of the things that have ever been in your ass at one point, excluding the obvious. Yes, this is once again my probably futile attempt to get blurkers to say hi to me. But I do hope the "regulars" answer as well. "NORM!!!!!!!!!!" Sorry, the gratuitous Cheers reference slipped out. I actually said it out loud as I typed.

Feel free to skip any questions you feel are too personal. You know me, we get a bit personal here.

1. What's your name?
2. Do you know me?
3. Who is your "What The" person, the person who makes average people giggle or puke at the thought of you lusting after them.
4. Who is it REALLY???
5. Have you ever had a tongue in your butt? Was it yours? Because that would be really impressive.
6. Would you put a finger in Donnie Osmond's butt for 50 dollars? Would you do it for five?
7. What's your best quality? Your worst?
8. Death penalty, Yea or Nay?
9. Where is the craziest place you've ever had sex?
10. What is your Magic Number aka the number of people you've slept with? Or, if you're feeling a bit whore-y, what is the Magic Number you give to people that ask? Remember, no one except yourself can make you feel like a whore. Oh, and me. But I won't because there's no shame in banging random people as long as they aren't related to you and are actual people and not livestock with people names. If you want, because I'm Asian, you can use math to tell me. Like X > 9 but < 11.

Here, I'll go first:

1. Riss
2. Yes I know you, you psychotic wench.
3. PATRICK DEMPSEY!!! Patrick Dempsey dammit. He was on Will and Grace last night playing a very convincing gay man (probably why Ray doesn't want to relinquish him). I thought, wow. Will and he would make a very nice gay sandwich. Seriously. I'd do them.
4. Jeb Bush. Not really, but damn that'd be a perfect "What The."
5. Yes. No. If I were that flexible I'd never get out of bed.
6. I wouldn't do it for anything less than 500, because he's a little bit country so who knows what you'd find in there. BAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
7. My best quality is how much I love my family and friends. My worst quality is my habit of saying exactly what is on my mind at the time.
8. A big fat solid YOU'RE DARN TOOTIN we should have it. Sorry, Girlie has gotten me into these weird hick sayings. But there's a resounding YEA coming from me. In fact, they should use it on this guy.
9. On 7th Avenue at like 9 o'clock at night. People were tossing dollar bills into my hat. Okay just kidding, but they were peeping through the car window and pointing.
10. X is > 8 but < 45. Hahahaha!! Okay, okay. The number I give out is 83 but the actual number is 10.

Come on people, LET'S DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4:34 p.m. edit: The finger in the Donnie Osmond question is YOUR finger, not some random dismembered finger, or the finger attached to your best friend, or a ladyfinger or a Butterfinger. YOUR finger. God, you people will look for any loophole won't you.