June 16, 2005

My Confessions

My Confessions

I am going to contribute to that confessions site too:

(It will take somewhat of an effort to forgo capitalization but I will try.)

1. i like antonio banderas. and fran drescher. okay maybe "like" is too strong of a word, maybe i "am amiable towards" fran drescher. like she doesn't make me want to rip my ears off and throw them at her the way she does most people.

2. i tried to molest my husband last night while he was sleeping but i was too drunk and the room was too hot and I kind of just gave up and went to sleep even though the genie was already out of the lamp.

3. i sometimes read tabloids when i'm in line at the supermarket. and then i feel a moment of self-loathing for giving in to the temptation of reading such garbage.

4. i hate cats. sometimes when I see them I just want to kick them but i don't because i'm allergic and might start sneezing.

5. one time when i was walking on Broadway the woman in front of me tripped and fell head-to-toe, face down right into this huge puddle of brown water and she was wearing a white suit. i felt really bad about it but i laughed.

6. i like food and i like sex but i don't like food WITH sex. ice cream should be eaten off a cone or from a bowl. there's nothing worse than the smell of dried ice cream on skin.

I have more but I want to go eat.

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