Riss: 5 bucks say they acquit him.
Geo: No they're going to convict him, to make up for O.J.
Riss: HAHA!!! Funny. No, I think they're going to acquit him. I think he's probably guilty but the mom came off as even more of a scumbag than a child molester.
Geo: Yeah, what kind of crackhead lets her kid sleep in a bed with Michael Jackson.
Riss (5 minutes later): Yup, there it is. Not guilty on all counts.
Geo: Look at all those idiots out there cheering like they won the lottery.
Riss: Seriously.
Geo: They need to go get lives.
Riss: I can't think of a single celebrity that I'd care enough about to actually go hang out at the courthouse in support of them.
Geo: Me neither.
Riss: Oh well. Americans have a distinctly difficult time convicting celebrities of anything serious. I mean real celebrities, not random third-string athletes no one has ever heard of.
Geo: You know he's sick though.
Riss: All the times they've been investigating him makes me suspicious. I'm not big on conspiracy theories. If it looks like a horse, walks like a horse, it's probably a fricken horse.
Geo (listening to the newscast): There was a video? What video?
Riss: Oh all those random documentaries.
Geo: Oh, I thought it was a different kind of video.
Riss: Um, eeew. Maybe it was a video of him molesting Macaulay Culkin.
Geo: Huh???
Riss: Remember, someone said they saw him fondling Macaulay Culkin, eeeew, but Macaulay Culkin said it wasn't true.
Geo: Right.
Riss: Yeah. Well now Michael Jackson can get back to his busy life of sleeping in bubbles, touching little boys, whitening his skin and making crappy music.
I couldn't find any T-shirts I liked online (to get Michael as a victory gift), so I think I'll just make one myself:
No comments:
Post a Comment