Stuff In My Head

Stuff In My Head (Besides My Brains)

I just spent half an hour brushing doll hair. And enjoying myself a little too much. My girls kept bring their Kelly dolls up to me so I could fix their hair up. At one point, I realized that they were occupied reading books on the floor and yet I was still brushing, and had been brushing for the past 5 minutes. I always figured I was 12, but didn't realize it was actually more like 6. Yes, I bought my girls Kelly dolls. I am being Ross on Friends, when he saw his son playing with Barbies and bought him G.I. Joes instead. They like to climb, run around and destroy things. I thought girls were supposed to have tea parties and play with dolls. Then again of course my kids don't do that. I never did that. My friends and I used to dress in cammies and smear face paint on, then slither around in their backyard with frogs and snakes playing War. I had this awesome black plastic gun that shot yellow rubber bullets. My friend's brothers each had one too, but she didn't because her mom said guns weren't for girls. So the rest of us shot rubber bullets at each other and she just kind of threw pebbles and twigs.

Janelle and I were plastered on Saturday night. We went to a family dinner at a cousin's house and her husband kept making us these vodka lemonades. Well, vodka and a splash of lemonade for color. My uncle/Janelle's father-in-law told him we would drink all his vodka. We didn't though, there was still a couple of inches in the jug when we left. I hope. We had a couple shots on the way out the door so I'm not sure. When we got back to Janelle's we made the brilliant decision to karaoke. It's a testament to how close our family is that no one killed the two drunken idiots singing Blondie songs at the top of their lungs at 3am.

At a birthday party earlier on Saturday, we were discussing that woman who just had her 16th kid. Someone asked how they could afford all of them, and I said I thought they were pretty well off. One of our friends chimed in that if you have over 8 kids though, the state will use tax money to put them all through college. Is that infuriating or what? Way to reward people for personal irresponsibility. Yeah I said it. If you can't afford to have 8 kids (excepting higher order multiples) without state assistance then keep your legs closed or your dick in your pants. Why should other people pay to send their 8 kids to school when they may not even have enough money to send their own. Ridiculous. How about you take my tax dollars and pay to have these peoples' tubes tied.

I made some idiotic fantasy football decisions this week for Geo's team. Given a choice between Eli Manning and Drew Bledsoe, I made a sentimental choice and picked Manning since he was from the Giants. There is no room for sentimentality in fantasy football dammit!! Plus, I benched Antowain Smith, who I picked up after Deuce McCallister got injured and started Corey Dillon instead, knowing he was a bit injured. Stupid stupid stupid. Luckily, Santana Moss had an awesome game, as did the Atlanta defense. And LaDainian was amazing as always. By the way, I always call LaDainian by his first name, as if we're friends or something. It's just one of those names that when you first hear it you're like huh, but after awhile you're like "Hey that's a cool name." Like Deuce. You can't get away with naming your kids that unless you're black though. It would just be weird to see some little Filipino kid walking around with the name "Deuce." I have to think on this. I want my nonexistent son to have a bad ass name.