October 17, 2005

Confession Is Good For The Soul

Confession Is Good For The Soul

Remember GroupHug.us?

I haven't been to confession in an appallingly long time, I'm afraid the priest will grow old and die while listening to them. I'm also afraid of sitting in a confessional for 5 years, and having to do 4730967790790 Hail Marys. Prayer Hail Marys, not football ones.

So, I will just "confess" here. I put it in quotation marks because you know it will all just be crap anyway. Like I'm going to bust out anything serious on here.
  • I can't resist reading all the dirt on Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt. Even as I fill up with self-loathing I reach for the tabloids.
  • In college I used to put eyeliner on my ex while he slept, knowing he never looked in the mirror before going to work at a cafe.
  • I like that song "Timeless" by Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini.
  • I routinely forget my friends' birthdays. I remember 2 or 3 days before, but then forget until after it's passed.
  • I once got busted for shoplifting when I was 13. My friends were the ones who got caught by the camera but I felt guilty and went along.
  • I despise 90% of the songs Mike J really likes. Like they make me want to scratch my own skin off.
  • I am the clumsiest person on the planet. If there is ONE tripping hazard in a 500 sq foot room, I am tripping over it within the hour.
  • I believe in God but religious fanatics really annoy the shit out of me. You know, the ones that think if a person doesn't obey every single tenet of religious dogma, he or she is going to hell. And they don't hesitate to stand on their pedestal and let you know how great they are and how horrible you are. I think it would benefit mankind to round them up, place them on a desert island where they can procreate with each other and leave the rest of us alone.
  • If my dogs don't stop barking within a couple of minutes, I tell them to shut up. Never thought about it. Now, whenever they bark my 2-year-old daughters turn to them and yell "Shup!!!!!"
  • My vanity and my laziness are engaged in open warfare. I get up to do my pilates/kickboxing workout but the entire time my mind says things like "Aren't you tired. You should go sit down on the couch. Have a couple of donuts. Relax a little."
  • I think every show on television is overrated. Except 24. I still like Nip/Tuck, Desperate Housewives and Gray's Anatomy though.
  • I owe Mike J and Tony about 633,467,867 drinks. I owe Paul and Steve about 293,845 drinks.
  • I haven't read any book that was even remotely intellectually-stimulating in over a month.
  • Geo and I got into a fender bender last week and I had a relapse aka a few drags off his stoge. Had another few puffs early Sunday morning during the drunken JanelleFest. So the score is 453-2 in the Riss No-Smoking Open which began in late August.
  • We're 5-1 in our fantasy football league but I don't want to jinx it by crowing about it.
  • I laugh at some peoples' MySpace profiles. And they're not trying to be funny. But come on... they can't spell half the words in their profile but The Pickwick Papers is their favorite book?
  • I am grossed out by "fusion" food. Food was not meant to be fused.
  • I laugh out loud every time I watch Toy Story, and the toy soldier goes "He's opening the second present... it's bed sheets!" And Mr. Potato Head goes "Bed sheets?? Who invited that kid?"
  • I would make a bad ninja. At night, when I'm really tired and crawling into bed, it's pitch black and I sometimes misjudge where I am and fall off.
  • I've been laughing during New England's games.
  • I am going to see The Legend of Zorro on opening night and I'm a bit too excited about it.
  • I think my brain is atrophying... not that I really used it a lot at work. Public Relations is 20% charm, 20% persistence, 20% luck and 40% bullshit.

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