Stupid Institutions

Stupid Institutions

I know I'm a total ass and that this post will only add to the mountain of bad karma I've probably generated with this blog. I admit, I feel guilty at times for being such an ass but I can't help what I think. I have a feeling other people think similar thoughts but don't say them out loud. So do I have bad karma because I thought these things in the first place, or because I actually wrote them down/said them out loud. Who can tell.

My ex sent me a link to some lawsuit filed by a woman who claims her doctor prescribed sex with him for her condition. She believed his medical advice and um, got refills for a few months. She is seeking 4 million dollars in damages. Supposedly she isn't mentally retarded, just really stupid. I don't buy it. Not that I condone doctors abusing their priviliges, but give me a break. He told her there was "a medical need to manipulate a nerve in her vagina to help alleviate her lower back pain." If she really is stupid enough to believe that then they should commit her to a Stupid Institution before she hurts herself.

If I were Queen of the World I would open up many of those Stupid Institutions. It would probably free up our jails a bit and make the world a safer place. We need a place to put those people, where they won't frustrate or annoy anyone except other stupid people. People who get into accidents because they were on their cell phones, people who sue for billions of dollars because they "didn't know" that cigarettes were bad for their health, people who say shit like "the government only cares about oil" then climb into their SUVs... wouldn't it be nice to live separately from them? The Stupid Institution would provide them with a controlled environment, while protecting the greater good. No really. This is part of my campaign speech.

Since I'm already talking smack, might as well continue. I read this article about some woman who was giving birth to triplets and no one stopped to help. The whole point of the article was to illustrate the callousness of society. Naturally my first thoughts were sympathy for the mom, and it continued until I got further down the story and read the part where she has three older children, none of whom are in her custody. So um, after having three kids removed from her custody because she sucked as a mom, or having some judge decide her kids were better off without her influence or having some judge decide she couldn't care for her kids... she decided to have more? Either that or she decided birth control wasn't important. Nice. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad her babies are okay. But there's free food, room and board at the Stupid Institution. I know, I'm an ass. As a mother of twins I feel guilty for judging this person but... oh well.

You know who else I'd like to commit? Pro athletes who go on strike. But that's a personal bias, likely stemming from the NBA lockout, when I would go to my underpaid job at the league office and read about athletes complaining that they "had to sell their eighth car" (Kenny Andersen). I don't understand pro athletes who go on strike. Don't they realize how lucky they are? They are getting paid a stupid amount of money to do something the average person on the street would accept $30K a year to do. Of course owners are the ones who should make the most money in professional sports. They're the ones taking all the financial risks. I would think that's a pretty basic concept. When you go to Vegas and sit down at the blackjack table, you don't get to win big unless you put some money on the table beforehand that you may not get back. What's hard to understand about that?

Oh oh and celebrities who extend their 15 minutes of fame by all means necessary. They get engaged, get married, release sex tapes, join cults, adopt kids, have kids... all for the purpose of keeping themselves in the spotlight. Wouldn't it be nice to have them committed and never have to hear about them ever again? All the Stupid Institutions would be enormous. I wouldn't make the mistake of building them too small, and thus having to deal with the problem of "overcrowding" later on. And there would be pools and restaurants and stores. Imagine a university, but... pretty much the complete opposite in admission. And naturally there would be a focus on rehabilitation. I am not a pessimist. Some people can be saved. Everyone has done stupid things in their past, it's just whether or not they're habitual offenders. Like one time I... never mind.

By the way, this is um, completely unrelated (heh) but Scientologists believe that:

"75 million years ago, an alien named Xenu ruled more than 76 planets, including Earth (known as Teegeeack), and tried to solve a population problem by blowing up beings on Teegeeack. Their souls were taken to a "cinema", where they were forced to watch a "3-D, super-colossal motion picture" for 36 days that implanted a "false reality" to control them. These souls then possessed humans."

I don't know about you but I almost cried with laughter while reading that. I mean Christianity has some crazy stories too but they're not half as um, imaginative.