Weekend Recap

Weekend Recap

I have decided that people who socialize in large cities are among the dumbest people on the planet. Myself included. We've somehow convinced outselves that it is perfectly normal to pay $12 for a drink, just for the "pleasure" of consuming it in a loud club, filled over capacity with rude people, and containing unisex restrooms in which attendants expect to be tipped for handing you a fricken paper towel. Something not unlike those people that spit on your windshield and want to be paid for a wash.

I feel a bit guilty for complaining about it though, since it wasn't my funds that were being sent into the void. But I feel compelled to complain on behalf of those people who were paying for the drinks. Around 10 o'clock on Friday night we hit up Vapor, the place where me and Cece had our birthday party, to meet up with some friends. Vapor is also the place where they charged $21 for a double shot of Hennessy, so enough said. After Vapor we headed to some joint called Select, where the other people in my party were refused admission because there were "too many guys inside already." They were given a choice, either find somewhere else to go or purchase a $250 bottle of Grey Goose and a seating area would be provided for 4-5 people. My friends actually considered it, because they were used to having to do that in Vegas. I just stood there appalled, wondering if me and Mike J were going to have to find another place to chill for the night (I knew there was no way he was going to pay $250 for a $20 bottle of Grey Goose, just to drink it in some ghetto club.) And guys think women are dumb for paying $250 for a purse. At least we get to keep the purse forever.

While my friends busted out cell phones and tried to rustle up some girls, I took advantage of my gender and slipped inside to scope the place out and pee. In the bright light it looked ghetto, like an old hotel that once was clean and presentable but now was a Mexican brothel. The ratio of men to women was definitely of sausagefest proportions. When I walked through it was like that scene in Eurotrip on the nude beach.. "Girl... girl... girl... chica!"

I went back outside, munched on a chicken kebob (no a real one, there was a vendor outside) and waited to see what everyone else would do. A tour bus pulled up filled with about 50 drunk people, of whom only about 10 were male, so the gender imbalance evened out because they started to let people in. Coincidentally, it was also now after midnight so my friends had to pay, though they would have been free if they'd been let in the first time. Speaking of which, when I made a comment about their policy to the bouncer, he tried to bust out a "logical businessical" explanation. Not to insult bouncers or anything (I love sarcastic disclaimers), but they're not hired for their brains and most of the time it shows. They should just understand that they're better when seen and not heard. I know, I'm an ass. But I actively dislike bouncers.

Let's put it this way. If a club has too many guys in it, the girls will stay. Unless they're lesbians. The only people you're in danger of losing at a sausagefest are the guys. At which point, they'll leave and even out the numbers, but not before they hang around and buy a few $12 drinks. So don't give some bullshit line about evening out the numbers, just say that you don't want to let people in until after midnight so you can charge them $20 to get in. And what's worse, too many guys inside the club or too many guys outside of it in line?

But again, not complaining because I had numerous shots AND afterwards had peking-style pork chops, salt and pepper squid, dried sauteed string beans and some chicken thing. YUM.

On Saturday we went to my niece's birthday party and more YUM. They had it catered by this Portuguese restaurant I used to always hit up on my lunch hour called Lisbon. I had about two plates of the paella, a rice dish that contains mussels, shrimp and lobster. Which wasn't the best of ideas for someone allergic to seafood, but I popped two Claritins beforehand and hoped for the best. I also tempered the paella with lots of that thick crust bread, chicken and these baked sliced potato things. They were like thick, bendy chips.

On Sunday we were ready for some football.