December 19, 2001

Potpourri ("I Think It's Some Kind Of Soup")

Due to the technical difficulties experienced by Blogger (that they will never overcome apparently) I created a new blog. My numerous e-mails went unanswered as I tried to find out how my username was "unknown" when I could view but not edit my blog. So anyhow I'll just cut and paste from the rissah blog and try once more...

Potpourri ("I Think It's Some Kind Of Soup")
I decided to disband my old (band of merry thieves) "Random Thoughts" page and just cut and paste it right into here:

12.14.99 You know what's weird? On Fed Ex Letter packages (not even boxes) it's labeled "Do not ship liquids, blood or fluids." BLOOD?????? The scary thing about this is, you gotta assume that in order for Fed Ex to actually have put it on their official packaging, there had to have been some sort of precedent.

12.16.99 I've decided that I am going to own a racehorse one day and I'm going to name him GET AT ME DOG!!! And I'm going to insist that every time they print his name out it is written exactly like that, complete with all capitals, bold-faced print and three exclamation points. So the betting books will look like this:

1. Secretariat
2. Challenger
3. Ryan's Pride
4. Lightning
6. For The Roses
7. Jim

Yeaaaaah booooy!!! It's Triple Crown time baby!!! (Second choice for my horse's name would have to be Minion of Satan)

12.22.99 I used to be able to sing pretty high notes. In high school I was a natural soprano but now I'm lucky if I can hit the notes in a Britney fucking Spears song. As I was telling my girl Lani, "If you and I are ever captured by a marauding bunch of opera-loving bandits, we're assed out. Sorry."

2.14.01 In feng shui, is the phrase "auspicious corner" a euphemism for "vagina?" There are numerous references to this phrase in Lillian Too's beginner's guide to feng shui, however the exact definition continues to elude me.

3.20.01 I don't think most people realize how disgusting the phrase "I wouldn't sleep with you even if you were the last man on earth and the continuation of the human species relied on it" actually is. Think about it... if you were to get over yourself and actually decide to re-populate the earth with the aforementioned last man, in order for you to achieve your goal, your son and daughter would have to have sex with EACH OTHER. Eeew!!! Now I'm no biologist or anything but wouldn't the results of that union produce some weird-type species? Oh well... to further my informal study I guess I'll have to keep an eye out for three-headed children in Appalachia.

(APD) Another Psychotic Dream
I had the weirdest dream last night, it was like I stepped into a movie. Some woman had to choose between twin brothers and marry her selection. But one twin was evil and the other was good and since they both seemed nice it was impossible to tell which was which. They both professed to be the good one. In the end though one brother tried to kill the other and he ended up getting killed by his brother in self defense. So the girl figures that he must be the good one and marries him. But in the final three seconds of my dream he smiles at her and you realize that he was the evil one. Someone please interpret my dream, I had an easier time interpreting the dream I had once that my lil sis Rose and I were driving around in L.A., and when we got out of the car it turns out it was made entirely of potato chips.