January 30, 2002



Website of the day: oddtodd.com...at the end it has that song from The Matrix by Rage that I've been wondering what it was called.

Anyway, this is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time... I couldn't stop laughing at work. It's like when I quit the NBA that was my life. "What should I have for dinner......oooooh Skittles." Or you'd try and do something productive but have no motivation because you don't HAVE to do it. The worst part was not having any type of funds to do anything. There was this stretch where I had exactly $7.32 in my bank account for three weeks. After I started working at my job I sent out this list to my friends in celebration...

Top 6 Reasons Marissa Is Happy to be Gainfully Employed


Just kidding.

Top 6 Reasons Marissa Is Happy To Be Employed

6. Hated pressure of looking around the register for things to buy so I can use my credit card to charge a pack of cigarettes.

5. Hated look on minimum wage Duane Reade employee's face when I present said credit card to charge $4.23

4. Possibility that if I see another bag of Top Ramen I may have to choke on my own vomit and die.

3. Underwater basket weaving not as glamorous nor lucrative a profession as one might initially be led to believe.

2. Tired of deliberately mixing up my CDs in order to have the amusement of re-alphabetizing them.

And the number one reason I am glad to be working...

1. Apparently, there is absolutely NO way to pay rent using a Victoria's Secret credit card...well, no LEGAL way.

I especially related to the part in the flash program about how MCI is a bunch of weasly rat bastards (sorry Mike) since that seems to be all I did when I didn't have a job...sleep, drink and fight with MCI. Our conversations would normally run like this:

Evil MCI "customer service" person who has yet to service me at anything: Miss, you owe us $8,563,947.32
Me: What what what? I used my phone like 3 times last month and it wasn't for three 8-day-long calls to Zimbabwe.
Evil MCI person pretending to check a database but who is really brushing dust off their keyboard: Well you owe us
$49.99 for the monthly service fee and $8,563,897.33 for things like voicemail and "roaming charges."
Me: I'm not supposed to pay "roaming charges"...isn't that why it's wireless?
Evil MCI person munching on french fries while on the phone: Yes you do ma'am, it's in your contract.
Me: I have an idea....why don't you take that contract...shine it up real nice-like...turn that son'bitch sideways and stick it straight up your candy ass!!!

Then they would remove all my extraneous charges and everyone would be happy until next month.

Article of the day (courtesy of Kwame)