February 6, 2002

More Random Thoughts

More Random Thoughts

Une: They should invent something useful to do with human hair. I don't mean professional wig-making for commerce or amateur wig-making for serial killers. I mean something like a machine which turns excess human hair into some sort of energy source. Because I was looking at the amount of hair in my drain after my shower and imagining the billions of other females' drains probably looking very much like it. Together we could probably power Myanmar (formerly known as Burma, whose slogan is "The Banana Leaf Capital of the World")

Deux: I can't find my damn planner and it's annoying me. I have all this filler stuff for it and nowhere to put it. (Yeah yeah I know, "I'll tell you where you can put it.")

Trois: The Super Bowl commercials sucked ass this year, which comes as a complete NON-surprise since they've been progressively sucking for the last few years. Anheuser Busch got their commercials and tribute to ground zero off, which is to be expected since they're the perennial favorite. The absolute dumbest had to be a tossup between E-trade's monkey-on-Broadway ad and all those idiotic Mlife commercials. Seriously folks: Am I the only person who likes the Britney Pepsi commercials?? I guess I just really like the jingle, it's catchy.

Quatre: I want to say things like "Roger that's a copy. Alpha Bravo Tango Zulu Niner Alpha" and "Fire in the hole" and "Mustang Bogey One has missile lock...do I have permission to fire?" Maybe I could just be in a military movie. Or maybe I can just sit at home surrounded by sound (hee) and watch Top Gun, Crimson Tide, Under Siege and Platoon over and over again.

Favorite msg board posting for this week:
Q: If you were a Jedi Knight what color would your lightsaber be?
My reply: "My lightsaber would be lilac. Then while my opponent was deriding it and saying 'aawww look at the pwetty wight saber for girls' I would cut his head off and kick it into space."

Yesterday's conversation with George:
Me: YO, guess which one of your exes is pregnant.
George: Jamie?
Me: Nope.
George: Heidi?
Me: Nope.
George: Julie?
Me: Nope *in a frustrated voice because he hasn't gotten it already*
George: Umm.......*enter about a bunch of random names including "that girl at Newport"*
Me: I said "exes" George not "random hoes you've banged."
George: Um...........
Me: For the love of God, just name every place your dick has been. Wait never mind that, we don't have time. Just start naming random names from your past!!
George: Um............Chocho...Carmina...
Me: Okay *almost bursting by now* she was your most recent one!!!
George: Ohhhhhh.....haha really...........Guess I don't look so bad to her family now, do I?

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