February 13, 2002

Wednesday, Crappy Wednesday

Wednesday, Crappy Wednesday

So my company has been all over the news because supposedly we're being bought. Greeaaaaaaat. Reporters keep calling me for quotes and I want to say "Officially, I am unable to comment at this time. But off the record, is your company hiring?" I think the reason we're being sold is that apparently we're savages. Just look at the women's restroom on my floor. There's piss all over the seats and used tampons litter the stalls. How disgusting is that. If people at my company lack the basic skills to clean up after themselves, how are they supposed to run a business?

Mike and I were watching BET last night and some comedians were cracking on white people and it reminded me of a conversation I had once with Kuen. We were talking about how all the crazy shit you see people doing on TV are always done by white people. You don't see Puffy or Antonio Banderas trying to climb K2, losing fingers and toes to frostbite in the process. A perfect example of this is Steve Irwin, The Crocodile Hunter. Now Steve is mad funny and I totally love his show, don't get me wrong. But come on now..."Wot av got here is a bootiful spesimen of daingo. Highly dangerous, these animals love to eat human flesh. Ihm just gonna stick my 'and 'ere in its mouth and see wot 'e does." Other great examples are MTV's Jackass, bungie jumping (I don't even know if that's how you spell it), swimming with sharks like on the Discovery channel, people who climb Everest and what the comedian referred to as "jumping out of a perfectly good plane." Actually, Geo went sky-diving and bungie jumping once each, but that's because he was in the military and you know they're all insane.

I listen to Howard every morning on my way to work and he was playing an excerpt from some comedian's stand-up routine. The guy was talking about the WWF and he said "They should let the winner fuck the other guy right in the ring...then at least one of them will be fighting for real" hahahahaha. I used to really like watching the WWF however, before the influx of gay ass ECW wrestlers. My favorites were Lita, Matt and Jeff Hardy, The Rock (of course) and Too Cool. They're all such characters. That shit Lita does (jumping off the ropes, and taking wrestlers down with her legs) is pretty awesome.

Lety and I were talking on the phone yesterday about how we hate to be alone in the house. She said her roommate Raia had left on a 4-day business trip once and Lety spent 3 of the 4 nights sleeping in the living room with all the lights on. I'm the same way if I'm ever alone (note to stalkers: this happens rarely, everything is always bolted, I have a dog, two really big guys live right underneath me, I have weaponry... and I'm not afraid to set the house on fire with me in it to save myself from a degrading death and take you with me). So we decided part of the reason we're such scaredy-cats is that we're addicted to true crime novels. I for one, have read everything on crimelibrary.com despite the fact that most of it makes me want to vomit. Once again, the only thing wrong with the death penalty is that we don't use it enough. Yes, a case can be made from looking at statistics that "minorities" are more likely to get the death penalty than Caucasians. All that means is that we need to be getting those white killers into the gas chamber too. A wonderful example of justice was Timothy McVeigh (sorry Audrey, I know he's your hero and all).

In addition, people who are upset over what they perceive as society's indifference to the racial inequity in the application of the death penalty, should take a good hard look at their poster boy Mumia Abu Jamal. The fight to ensure that race doesn't play a part in criminal sentencing is a very legitimate cause, but they've got the wrong martyr. Go to the website of the slain cop Daniel Faulkner and Jamal's own website and formulate your own opinions, but please get off the Rage Against The Machine bandwagon if you have no clue what you're screaming about. I've never seen a case that was more open and shut for the prosecution. They couldn't have proven his guilt any more if they had a well-lit videotape of him doing it. Unfortunately, people are mindless sheep and it's trendy to be anti-establishment. I still don't see how people can think it's okay to spit on the widow of a cop killed while on duty... just because you believe the man convicted unanimously by a jury that included two black people is innocent. Fucking heathens.

Incidentally, although I don't always agree with him, NY Times columnist Thomas Friedman is the bomb. Today's article was especially stellar, as he discusses what he describes as America's loss of detterent capabilities. My friend Pete from work gave me the quote of the day, from the movie The Art Of War. "We need to protect democracy from itself."

Anyway the funniest part of the night was me quoting Lety's comment to Mike, that 75% of crimes against women happen between the hours of 5am and 8am. He seemed confused by this so I explained that it made sense since that is the time of day many women are attacked. The light bulb flashed. By "crimes against women" he thought I meant nonviolent crimes. I was like "Yes Mike....women are more likely to be pick-pocketed or slandered at 5am."