"Monday Monday da-da da da-da"

I was poking around my fridge yesterday, hoping for something edible when it hit me. When am I going to have a grown-up's fridge?!? The alcohol to anything else ratio in my fridge is like 23:1... You don't believe me??

If the picture doesn't come up go here.
Yes. Your eyes do not deceive you. That's two different brands of vodka (Ketel One and Stoli), two bottles of Seagram's 7, Malibu Rum, Kahlua, Amaretto, Captain Morgan, two bottles of beaujolais, and God know's how many bottles of Corona, Stoli Ice, Guinness, and Heineken. Too bad you can't really see the refrigerator door, there's more there. The "other" things I have are butter, eggs, a little salami, three slices of cheese, ranch dressing, Wawa peach ice tea, some strawberry milk and a lot of leftovers that should have been cremated weeks ago.

Where is the asparagus and broccoli? Where are the five different kinds of cheese (Mozarella, Sharp cheddar, Gorgonzola, Gouda and Monterey Jack)? Where are the special sauces? Where are the legumes and the bell peppers and the homemade hummus? I suck!!