Chazal, Bullies and Ghosts
Friday Night I went to Chazal in the city for Afrodite's birthday dinner. It was pretty fun, with the exception of the fact that the drinks cost about the same as a liver transplant. So if you hold off on that last round, you'll be able to buy yourself a new liver and start over again. The food was pretty good, actually... the food smelled pretty good. I only had the tomato, basil and fresh mozarella with balsamic vinaigrette because I had dinner before we left. I remember being fairly inebriated and just trying to get through that last glass of Merlot so I could stop. But it was like the never-ending glass of wine. Finally, I turned to light a cigarette and saw the waiter topping off my glass (so God only knows how long that "last drink" lasted). I was like "Please don't do that anymore." Poor guy.
Saturday morning we went to Old Bridge because my godson's nursery school was putting on a variety show. It was so cute!! I fell in love with some little blond kid in a purple velvet dress, ponytail and glasses!! She looked like a female version of that kid from Jerry McGuire. "I shall call her Purple Girl!!" Anyway so a lot of the kids were cute, not just my godson Matthew and Purple Girl. They tried to get Matthew to come to the front of the stage and sing (as rehearsed I'm sure) but when they tried to bring him over he jerked his arm away like "Get off me." George and I were rolling in the crowd. We were like "Yeah Matthew, tell that beeyatch to step" haha.
My cousin Yvonne was feeding the kids and our cousin Madeline's son Zach was telling us that some bully at school punched him but when he punched him back he got in trouble. Yvonne told him "That's right, you never hit people ever." I was like "What?!?!" Madeline is going to kill me but I looked at Zach and told him if someone bigger and older than him ever hit him FIRST that he should definitely knock him out. Yvonne looked worried but I was like "Yvonne, you tell your kids never to defend themselves and in 13 years you're going to have The Trenchcoat Mafia. Your kids are going to be bringing semi-automatic weapons to school and cleaning house."
I remember when I was in nursery school, there was this little blond girl who used to make fun of me all the time because I was the only Asian person in the school. She was popular so she used to make sure no one would ever talk to me. One day before naptime she walked on my mat to get to hers and deliberately stepped on my hair. I got up and went to her mat, then slapped her across the face. After I slapped her, I spit in her face. I think my Dad had to come pick me up early that day. I was never really bullied as a child because they would always try once but I wouldn't back down, even if we all knew they could whoop my ass. I figure, Mike and Johnny (the guys I grew up with) used to use me and their sister Jessy for wrestling practice. When you've had some guy who's three years older and much bigger than you twist your arms behind your back then hold your face in the dirt, some bully who comes over and pulls your hair doesn't seem that bad.
Message board exchange:
Ollie: "Ever watch a "dumb" scary movie with a bunch of friends, but when you watch a scary movie by yourself (no matter how dumb it is) you still get scared? Especially when you have to walk upstairs to your room all by yourself afterwards, and you think something is going to be waiting for you when you get there?"
Dean: Yeah it's that same stupidity that makes me watch a scary movie alone, and actually the same stupidity that makes me think that tucking in the blanket on all sides is actually ENOUGH to keep out the demons with claws and sharp teeth.
Me: And that same stupidity that makes me think that closing the closet and locking the bedroom door will keep out ghosts.
