Sick Stuff

Sick Stuff

So today's article of the day requires that you not eat beforehand. It's an article about people whose goal in life is to make it no longer taboo to marry and procreate with your first cousin. Um, yeah okay. Eeeeew. I mean, I realize that English nobility et al used to marry first cousins to each other to keep the bloodlines pure. But you all know how that turned out. Could you be any more nasty? Actually I can be. I just read this book "A Game Of Thrones" by George R. R. Martin and it's a really good book, but there's an awful lot of incest in it. Hustler and Chasey Lain-level incest, not Playboy or Skinemax. Like twin brothers and sisters banging and stuff. So that made my stomach turn, but the rest of the book was pretty good. "Hey if it's good enough for the Greek gods and goddesses..." Just kidding. Anyway back to the article. So these people who want to make marrying your first cousin legal in all states AND accepted even have their own website called (I kid you not) "Cousincouples.com" It even has a game on it called "Who wants to be a kissing cousin?"

I don't mean to be judgemental or anything but should I puke now or puke later? Is it me or are there like billions of people in this world NOT related to you, so what are the chances that your "soulmate" (if you believe in that shit) is closely related to you? I mean I guess their argument carries a little water in a "free" society like ours that frowns upon any type of morality. They're saying that cousins who are infertile or who willingly undergo genetic testing by doctors should be accepted by society because if the concern for mutant children is removed from the equation, all you have left is that people shouldn't do it because it's "icky." And as proponents of abortion and gay marriages always say, the law (and society by default) has no place in the bedroom. But doesn't that mean that brothers and sisters, mothers and sons should also legally and socially be allowed to copulate and marry as well, as long as they use protection? Okay I can't talk about this anymore, I'm going to be literally ill. But the article was fascinating. People are so weird man. Oh yeah, and the motto of kissingcousins.com or whatever that website was is "If you can't keep it in your pants, keep it in the family." Nahh I'm only joking about that. It's actually "The family that lays together, stays together." And they give out free bumper stickers upon request that say "Appalachia or bust!!"

Quote of the day: "I think I'm gonna smoke this rock in front of me" (This was said by one of my friends who had recently quit smoking and was fiending like hell. The rock in question was actually a rock, sitting on the ground by our feet.)

It's time for the "You Learn Something New Every Day" portion of our program, courtesy of an e-mail from Mike the Firefighter. "Mental note: Do NOT say, "I have to tinkle" in the presence of my fellow firefighters." Editor's note: Mental note REVISED: Never say "I have to tinkle" in front of ANYONE.

Well, I have to go to lunch now. I'll continue this later. I still have more things to say. In the meantime, you can go create fun forwarding accounts at Datapimp.com -- I have a pretty cool account created there, it's riss@insanemotherfucker.com