April 12, 2002

Desperate Women, "The News" and Pamela Lee

Desperate Women, "The News" and Pamela Lee

Website of the Day #1: Female or Shemale?
Website of the Day #2: Priceless Parodies

So there's this new show on called "The Bachelor" that is pretty much a cross between "Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire" and "Survivor." They started out with 25 women that are all living with this guy and over the course of several weeks he eliminates them in groups. The show should be called "25 Desperately Pathetic Single Women" instead. Don't you hate women sometimes? Like they would ever find 25 guys willing to do the same thing. And who the hell "wins" marriage anyways, like it's a prize. That's like "winning" a root canal or "winning" a mammogram. Fortunately I haven't watched the show yet but I do see the commercials sometimes and one woman was like "What am I going to do.... I really am falling in love with him... *insert wretched self-loathing*" I couldn't help myself. I started screaming at the TV like I screamed at the referees who ruled Tom Brady's fumble an incompletion during the Raiders-Pats playoff game. "Are you fucking blind? Are you a fucking idiot? Who does this shit?" But then after a moment of thought it made sense. If you're stupid enough to go on national TV and humiliate yourself you might as well be stupid enough to humiliate yourself to the fullest extent.

Geo told me last night that he gets most of his news from Howard Stern in the morning. Which is scary yet pretty damn funny all at once. It also explains why he doesn't know that Yasser Arafat is holed up in some compound by the Israeli army, but does know that Pamela Anderson has Hepatitis C. Speaking of Pamela Anderson, the day she made her announcement, they interviewed Kid Rock and he had no idea what they were talking about. You mean to tell me that she told me, you and the guy selling muffins outside that she had a life-threatening disease BEFORE she told her man??? I just thought that shit was weird, because I was listening to his interview and homeboy had NO IDEA. Even if he did know about her illness, shouldn't she have let him know that she was planning to go public with it so he would be prepared for the reporters hunting him down and asking him if HE had it too?? Talk about a complete lack of communication in a relationship. That makes not telling your significant other about the illegitimate children you had with your ex look like peanuts.

Drunken George (watching Jurassic Park 3): Is Isla Sorna a happy place??
Sober Riss (watching Jurassic Park 3): Yes. If it makes you happy to be eaten alive by vicious oversized reptiles from the Mesozoic Era.

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