May 24, 2002

Friday Stuff

Friday Stuff

I felt like crap yesterday morning ("sick crap" not "hung over crap"). I guess that's the price you pay for being out in the cold night air men-in-uniform-watching. But I got to see 23 army guys, 14 sailors, 4 naval officers and 1 Marine so it was worth it. Carmela tried to take us to some shi-shi frou-frou sushi place but luckily the wait there was too long. You're not going to find any Marines in some place that serves "fusion Japanese" and serves no alcohol. Anyway so I took a personal day at work and by early evening was feeling much better. I saw Episode 2 but that's a whole other post. I had some Armageddon-inspired nightmare that morning and one thought I managed to hold onto, was of a painting done by Hieronymous Bosch entitled "The Garden of Earthly Delights." The painting consists of people frolicking without a care in the world (like a "Hedonism" club for the Middle Ages) but beyond the Garden where they can't see, bird-like creatures are tormenting sinners. Naturally it's a depiction of decadence and the consequences of immorality. So I thought about it and rather than dwelling on my propensity for nailing down shots of Black Haus and ogling sailors, I thought "You know... sleep is the ultimate earthly delight."

I was on the subway a few days ago and did you know that women who meet a certain criteria can sell their eggs for $7000 apiece?? Is it just me or is this really high? I looked over at my cuz and was like "Nyah nyah... your sperm is only worth $75 a pop." I guess either the moral debate involved with donating an egg is higher and they have to compensate accordingly, or women just have higher morality than men and they have to be bribed. Just kidding. Anyway if any of you chicas out there are interested I wrote the number down because damn... $7000 is a pretty good payout for something you lose each month anyway. (877) 779-7731 or visit

On my way back home I passed by this deli to pick up a snack and some smokes. As I was perusing the munchies section, I saw a jar of "Nutella" which is this hazelnut spread I used to eat all the time when I was a kid. I got all excited and grabbed a jar but then I looked down and on the label it had a picture of Kobe Bryant and the tagline "Come eat Kobe's favorite spread." Naturally I put it back on the shelf with a quickness. It's a matter of (albeit lame) principle. I refuse to contribute to the success of Nutella's marketing campaign when they're using such a dumb ass prick as their spokesperson. Incidentally, the other night I was watching the Nets game and everytime they were in key plays I'd find myself praying and that really sucks. All those people starving in this world and I'm praying a bunch of millionaires win a fucking basketball game. Someone slap me. Okay never mind, the line is getting too long.

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