May 16, 2002



So is anyone else absolutely thrilled that the Nets are in the 2002 NBA Eastern Conference Finals?? Oh my god... look how I wrote that. "ARRGHHHHH NBA BRAINWASHING!!!! MUST...GET...CHIP...OUT...OF...MY...HEAD!!" Anyway they scared me a little in the middle of the third quarter when it looked like they were feeling the psychological effects of all those ticky-tack fouls. I remember Aaron Williams picked up one of his many fouls and when they showed the replay he wasn't even close to the guy. No one was. I swear there's no vision requirement to be an NBA ref. Anyway the Nets evened it up at the end of the third and finally built up a cushion near the end of the fourth. Charlotte just fell apart. So now we have the Nets, Celtics, Sac and the Lakers in the Final Four. Might I just take this moment to say..."Congrats to the New Jersey Nets for making it to the Eastern Conference Finals for the first ti---I HATE THE FUCKING LAKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Whoa. Where did that come from?? Okay, I'm fine now. Actually what I was really going to say was "You like apples?? My Nets are in the Eastern Conference Finals!!! How'd ya like them apples?!?!?!?"

Today apparently is "Significant Other's Day" which was brought to my attention by a sarcastic postcard from the girlfriend-less Mike the Firefighter:

"How romantic. Nothing makes me warm and fuzzy inside like hearing the words "Happy Significant Other's Day". Another bloody holiday. Probably invented by E-greetings or Hallmark. Well today is May 16th. So Happy Don't Slip on a Banana and end up in Traction Day!"

Mike is bitter. He would have a girlfriend if it weren't for the fact that he keeps having bizarre first dates. Like the time he went out on a blind date with a racist Italian girl from Brooklyn and almost left her stranded at some Thai restaurant. I can't remember the comments she made but they were funny as hell coming from an Italian chick.

My friend just sent me a joke list of marriage quotes. I like this one:

"You have two choices in life: you can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead." -- W.W Renwick

Kwame wants me to build a bio section on my site so my friends can read about some of the people I mention on here. I actually really like that idea. Especially if I get to ask my friends all sorts of bizarre questions to put it together.

"Please fill out the following questionaire:

1. Name
2. Ethnicity
3. What do you do for a living?
4. Would you have sex with a puppy for one million dollars?
5. Would you eat liver every day for the rest of your life in exchange for the ability to walk through walls?
6. Did you sleep with that British guy that you told me you didn't four years ago?

Like I said, FUN.

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