Spike, S&M and Nerds With Nerfs
So I borrowed season two of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on DVD from my co-worker Diane. Last night I watched 10 episodes. That didn't break my record however. I watched the entire first season (12 episodes) two Mondays ago on one of my "work from home" days. I still have 12 episodes to go of the second season so I don't think I'll be going anywhere tonight. Watching everything from the beginning, I'm starting to dislike Xander and Willow less. And though Spike is still the baddest ass character ever to grace the Buffy set, Angel isn't as much of a wus as I thought he was. Drusilla is really, really gross though. She's like that girl in elementary school that used to behead her own dolls and touch her little brother while he slept. I can't believe they teamed up Spike with such a head case. I guess when you're evil you can't really be picky about who to mate with, since only insane people involve themselves with you. I've been waiting through 10 episodes already for Buffy to whoop her ass but it hasn't happened yet. Thank God I know it happens (a little) in season five.
Speaking of weirdo chicks in elementary school, everyone knows at least a few. There was this girl at summer camp that gave off that vibe and everyone stayed away from her. But my friend Nicole felt sorry for her and went over to her house one day. Big mistake. A shaken Nicole told me the next day that the girl disappeared into her parents' closet then came out 5 minutes later wearing a black leather bra and miniskirt, a fur jacket and stiletto heels. She was also carrying a whip which she brandished at Nicole then said "Come here slave." Yeah, that girl's household had issues. Did I mention we were all nine?
Oh my God I just ate the best chocolate-frosted golden marble cake ever. Diane's mom makes the best baked goods ever. It's good I'm not a lesbian and digging on older women otherwise I'd kidnap her and make her my wife. Diane says she'll ask her mom to make me a cake for my birthday. Wow!! That's the best gift ever!!
After lunch, me and MPip were watching the guys from our technology department throw a frisbee around our street:
Me: I find it amusing that the guys from Customer Support go downstairs and throw a football around, and the guys from our tech department go downstairs and throw a frisbee around.
MPip: Well what did you think they were going to throw around?
Me: They could've at least thrown a Nerf football or something.
MPip: Nerds with Nerfs.
Me: That's like some reality TV show doomed to fail.
I want to have a TV show with MPip. Like "Mystery Science Theatre" on Comedy Central. I think we'd have fun ad-libbing movies on mute.
Me: "Don't touch me, I can't bear it... your hand smells like llamas."
MPip: "Her name was Milvet...that's Ukrainian for 'tender.'"
My friend John Mal (he's John Mal because I already know a John M) brought it to my attention today that I haven't updated my gripelist in awhile. Sounds like a good project for tomorrow. I was already thinking about that while I was on the shuttle this morning, and some woman sat right next to me when:
1. There were like 9800 other vacant seats.
2. She was wearing so much Escape for women that when I walked off the bus I stank of it. People were looking at me like "Someone should tell her not to wear so much perfume." As if I would wear such a trendy perfume.