Anyone watch the Redskins-Eagles game last night? Lavar Arrington's halftime thing was actually pretty amusing. His pissed off nephew reminded me of my cute nephew Noble. Noble doesn't speak to me if I tell him not to touch something. He gives me this look like I killed his puppy then walks away. One question though... why is the stadium security spraying unruly fans with pepper spray? They couldn't have been that much of a danger. I thought it was some punkass redskin fans spraying agent orange at the Eagles bench. "Damn you Donovan for whooping our asses!!!!"

So Patrick Ewing retired. FINALLY. He's like 65 years old. I know I'm supposed to lick his butt just because I'm a Knicks fan but whatever. He was a punkass full-of-himself jerkoff. You have to wonder at the character of people who willingly have themselves represented by scum like David Falk. I remember once, I was in Vancouver for the Draft and Falk came into the elevator. He was trying to talk to me about mundane things and I was blowing me off, so he said "Don't you know who I am??" I was like "No." I would have rather eaten dirt than admitted that people had pointed his self-important ass out earlier. Long story short, I could care less that Patrick Ewing retired. His body gave out 7 years ago.

People buy some crazy ass shit on Ebay. What is this crap? Why would anyone pay 200 bucks for something they could probably make themselves. Since torture is illegal and all, I doubt they need a real one for their um, purposes. Incidentally, not that it will make any difference to you dirty-minded individuals but I came across this auction while looking for a renaissance-themed costume for Halloween. So there!

Some chic got an operation that broke her legs so she could be tall enough to meet the flight attendant height requirement of 5-2. Imagine paying $20,000 and getting your legs broken so you can fulfill your lifelong dream of waiting on snotty and/or irritable airplane passengers. You don't get tipped either. Even the waitresses at Denny's get tipped.

Speaking of food it's 2 am and I'm hungry as hell. Geo is supposed to be bringing home Mickey-Ds. I requested the new spicy McChicken sandwich. That is some good ass shit. Plus it's 99 cents... perfect for unemployed people. God bless the 99 cent menu. Why is there not a "cent" character button on the keyboard? Is it that rarely used? I could have used it like 20 times in the last week alone. Okay I have to go now. I want to watch Monsters Inc. which I just bought on DVD. What a great movie. I want a daughter like Boo. Okay I'm getting way ahead of myself now. Before I start thinking about children I should think about feeding myself something other than peanut butter and pickles for dinner.