"It's 3 a.m... Do You Know Where Your Kids Are?"

The title of this post should have been "Why The Hell Am I Awake???" Oh I know why... because I don't have work tomorrow. Or the day after that, or the day after that, or the day after that, or the day after that X100 ("Dear Louis, Paul and MPip... Having fun in No-Work Land. Wish you were here!! Love, Riss.") I could actually LIVE off unemployment and still have a ridiculous amount of money to spare. It's almost criminal.

My mom just read my blog and e-mailed me defending Pete Sampras. That alone might have been fine but then she compounded it by saying that James Blake was far better looking than Andy Roddick. "Better looking" I could have handled. "Far better-looking" is just too much. I am no longer speaking to her ever again (you read that, you evil evil woman!!!)

By the way, last Monday's Patriots-Steelers game was brutal to watch but damn the Pats have got it together. Remember how the Ravens didn't do so well after their Super Bowl win? Bill Belichek must re-live the day he got Tom Brady in the 6th round (199th overall) when he jerks off at night. I would.

Right now I'm watching Annie for the first time as an adult. I used to like this movie as a kid, but as an adult I'm kind of annoyed by it. They rented Radio City Music Hall so that Annie could see her first movie? Could you flagrantly waste any more money? Wouldn't it have been nicer to give free tickets to all the orphans in the city? I assume there was more than one orphan in New York City at that time. And Annie really is an unattractive little kid. My roommates and I used to always have this discussion in college. Veronica (right) said there was no such thing as an ugly kid but Carmen (middle) and I disagreed. You KNOW you all have seen some kids where their parents are like "And here's our baby.." and you're just like "Wheuuuhhhh." Annie is one of those kids.

I am currently waiting in dread for the new Goldie Hawn movie to come out. George used to lust after her as a child (it explains a lot, mainly his psychosis) and I live in fear that he will somehow blackmail me or guilt trip me into seeing it. Just the other day the commercial came on and he made the seemingly offhand comment that I dragged him to a movie once. Sensing what he may have been leading up to, I pounced and demanded to know what movie he was talking about. If he can't name it then it never happened. That's the way the rule goes. And if I never dragged HIM to a movie he can't in good conscience drag ME to any. I think making your friend go to a Goldie Hawn movie falls under Article III ("Allowable Reasons For The Immediate Discontinuation of Friendship") of the Friend Constitution. In fact, I'm sure of it. It's right there between "Taking Your Football-hating Girlfriend To The Super Bowl Instead Of Your Best Friend" and "Not Distracting The Ugly Companion Of The Person Your Friend Is Trying To Pick Up."

Bailey is mad at me. He keeps chewing on things he shouldn't while my back is turned so I sat him on top of the computer table right between my keyboard and the monitor. He's about to become even more pissed at me. It's 2 am and I'm about to give him a bath. If I don't he'll make my bedsheets smell and I'll have to do laundry again. I did 3 loads of laundry today. Oddly enough, the lady who owns the laundromat gave me 2 really awesome books, they're both art books with old French recipes in them. Geo was jealous because that was my first time there and I went home with presents. One book has the art and biography of Paul Cezanne and the other one has the same thing for Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec. I love Impressionists. Their scenes are so idyllic. I've always loved art that was light and happy, which is probably why I was fascinated by Impressionism as a kid, and why my favorite modern artist is Thomas Kinkade.

My dork of an ex-boyfriend Gerald says he would read my blog more often if I would only make the posts shorter. By "shorter" he wants me to believe he is referring to the length of the posts, but I know he really means shorter words. Since he will never read this because this was a long post, I can safely say that I will never shorten my posts to something he can read, because it is quite impossible to make complete sentences using only the words "a" "as" "by" "the" "it" "too" and "be."