Crap In The News and Harry Potter
Michael Jackson dangling a baby from a balcony has got to be one of the weirder things I've seen on the news lately. I've turned my brain inside out trying to figure out his psychological motivation for such an irresponsible act but can't. If he's trying to convince the world that he would never hurt children by molesting them, he just failed completely.
Reading about lawsuits is like driving by the scene of an accident and looking. You don't really want to but you do anyway. Michael Jordan's ongoing trials and tribulations with his former mistress is one of those occasions. My favorite line from the article is: "Knafel claims she declined an invitation to meet Jordan the next day because she had a headache, but that he continued calling her and eventually met her at a Chicago hotel in December 1989." It tickles me that this lawsuit is based on the idea that some groupie turned down an offer to rendez-vous with Michael Jordan because of a headache. I would have expected her to inhale half a bottle of Advil rather than miss that opportunity.
It freaks me out that astronomers can look at galactic events happening 400 million light years away and determine what will happen to our galazy in 4 billion years. That's mind-boggling isn't it? I can't even figure out what I'm doing tomorrow, should I actually wake up while it's daytime.
Some prisoner in California sued his prison for not letting him send semen to his wife so that she could artificially inseminate herself. All arguments about the human rights of prisoners aside, I'm surprised that the prison wouldn't see this as an opportunity to gain more members in the future. And more members equals more funding right... I mean, let's see... a child growing up with a father incarcerated for 111 years and a mother who felt an absent criminal would be the best role model her child could have... that definitely sounds like an honor student and model citizen in the making.
Which "international hamburger chain" washed their toilet seats in the dishwasher with all their trays and kitchen utensils? More importantly, why am I not surprised? Have you ever noticed that people who work in fast food restaurants never eat in those actual restaurants? That alone should tell you lots about their cleanliness practices.
I saw Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets last night and I really liked it. I knew I was going to though, I absolutely love the books. I re-read the first 4 books at least once a week. But again, I have no job so this should come as no surprise to anyone. Anyway I thought Chris Columbus (who by the way, I can't believe is not suffering from some sort of psychological trauma at what his parents named him) did a good job determining what could be cut from the book and what was essential to the plot. I also loved the effects and imagery, but I loved that about the first one too. My favorite line from the movie that wasn't in the book was when Ron Weasley said "'Follow the spiders'... how come it's never 'Follow the butterflies' or something like that." Okay, that's it. I suck at writing movie reviews because I don't care about the crap film critics care about. After the movie me and Geo went to go catch some of the Rams game and some wings at the restaurant by the theatre.
Geo (looking around at the 80 other guys in the bar): There are a lot of pigs here.
Me: Pigs? What do you mean?
Geo: Well the girls that work here are pretty ugly but the guys keep staring at them anyway.
Me: George, we're at a restaurant called "Bazookas"... what kind of guys were you expecting to come here?
Hostess in charge of the halftime raffle: "And next we have a chance for someone to win...some kind of towel-type thing."
Geo: It's probably a towel.
Having George around is like having a portable peanut gallery.
Here's today's picture of Bailey (to prove that I don't always torment him for posterity. Wait... I don't know if this proves anything in my favor. He looks really exhausted doesn't he??
