What Is It Good For

I've been kind of bored with blogging lately but I thought I'd come back and share a little secret with you guys. Are you ready? Okay. Here it is:

Even if "Operation Iraqi Freedom" (and yes, that name does crack me up since I'm in public relations) is about oil and about oil ONLY..... I DON'T CARE.

Did you guys read that properly you ask? Yes you did. But just in case:

I DON'T CARE.
I DON'T CARE.
I DON'T CARE.

I don't care for a variety of reasons but I'll only delve into the most important ones here. I don't care because regardless of the intentions of the "allied forces" the end result will be the same.

1. (I'll list the oil results first to shut some people up) - Countries other than France, Russia and China will have access to Iraqi oil and maybe some Iraqi people other than Saddam and his sons will enjoy the financial benefits. OPEC will most likely collapse and release their stranglehold on oil prices (can we please start a war with South Africa and Botswana and raid the De Beers mines... I saw this diamond bracelet I liked the other day). Saudia Arabia will be pissed but privately breathe a sigh of relief that Saddam is no longer eyeing their oil reserves and so will we, since Saudia Arabia is like our own Middle Eastern Exxon station.

2. Saddam's regime would be removed. Conspiracy theorists make me laugh sometimes, even while I'm thinking it's so sad that they can go from point A to point Z but ignore every point in between. It always strikes me as weird that some people are more than willing to attribute evil to George W (he may well be the most evil person EVER, worse than Hitler... but does anyone really have any proof of this) but they want to give someone with Saddam's track record the benefit of the doubt. These same people who march at rallies condemning China for its human rights violations against the Tibetans and want a free Palestinian state, simplify and gloss over the human rights violations of Saddam's regime. Why is this? Why does this make sense?? How is this even remotely consistent? Remember the world outcry about Tiananmen Square?? Iraqi jails are FULL of religious leaders, students, journalists, politicians, grassroots leaders and regular people whose only crimes were to speak out against Saddam's regime. Journalists have infiltrated and described Saddam's rape camps, first for the Kuwaitis and then for the Faili Kurds. The list goes on. Why then is it so difficult for some protestors to believe that maybe this guy would be capable of funding terrorism?? Let me break it down in the simplest of ways. Imagine you're sitting at your mansion, counting your benjamins and fingering a "Get Out Of Jail Free" card. Some guy walks in and says for a few of those benjamins he'll sneak over to your worst enemy's house and beat the shit out of him. No one would ever know. How many of you people would actually consider it??? I'm sure even some normally nice people would be tempted. And yet you don't think Saddam would?? His removal should have been effected a long time ago. Better late than never. We could encourage the downtrodden and persecuted Iraqi people to rise up against Saddam's regime but we did that in Afghanistan remember?? And how did that turn out. Exactly. And if I recall correctly, we were criticized for that as well by people saying we brought September 11th down on ourselves. (Plus doing that would kind of be like a basketball player asking a blind midget to get him something from the top shelf.)

3. Our enemies might think twice next time. Remember those days when the idea of American military action used to put the fear of God into our enemies? The fear factor might still be there but it's been weakened by our need to have people in the international community like us. We're like the CEO who was told by his advisors that he needs to be more friendly to his employees, so he runs around making idle discussion and giving gung-ho speeches at company functions. But behind his back his employees who once respected him for his no-nonsense business approach now just think he's a big dork. Saddam pulling a missile out of his ass would make a great visual at clandestine meetings of anti-American governments. It's naive to say America doesn't need power because First World countries publicly hate our power but privately thank God that they don't have the same expectations placed on them. It's nice to be the Swiss isn't it? Everyone loves you and no one minds that you hold and channel terrorists' money for them because you're such a nice guy!

4. After September 11th it would behoove us to have a pro-western state in the volatile Middle East. I'm just stating the obvious here. Kuwait doesn't count because their total population could fit in my bathroom. Saudia Arabia doesn't count either because they're business partners, not friends and they've proven this.

5. I believe in the disarmament of the criminals, not the police. Just because people in jail aren't allowed to carry guns while the prison guards are doesn't mean the state and federal penal system are hypocrites.

To the antiwar protestors who say shit like "Don't you care about the Iraqi children": Don't you care that you're a mindless sheep? Over-simplifying things to that one question is like me asking you in response "Don't you care about our country?" I have no gripe with antiwar protestors. I think colliding public opinions make things interesting. I don't have a problem with free speech and freedom of expression. What I do have a problem with is how in our pursuit of that, common courtesy falls by the wayside. I'm on a message board that has a bunch of members who are military wives. They tell me that protestors actually picket outside their residential areas on base, so that they feel compelled to go outside and protest their protests. How fucked up is that? These women, children, parents, whoever are sitting at home praying that they'll see their loved ones again and you're sitting outside their house screaming slogans you probably don't even understand? If my child were at a playground with some child whose father had just died of lung cancer, I would be appalled if my child walked up and said "that's what your daddy gets for smoking." I would take my child home and discipline her for being so inappropriate, regardless of the fact that she was right, if the father hadn't smoked he wouldn't have died of lung cancer. There is a time and place. Go back to Times Square or blocking freeways.

By the way, it really makes me laugh how some antiwar protestors believe that it's possible that American television is biased but Arab television is always unbiased and truthful. News flash: every country's media can be accused of being biased towards their own. But I'm actually surprised to hear people thinking that ours is one of them. I'm usually disgusted when I read newspapers, by their unabashed liberalism when they're supposed to be objective. Funny. Then again these are also the same people who were silent and conveniently forget that silence during the Clinton administration, when Clinton supported and upheld the Iraqi sanctions that were "starving Iraqi children."

And to the people who say things like "Don't you care about our military risking their lives": FUCK YOU. Fuck you for using them to support your beliefs when you know as well as I do that most of our military support our actions overseas. Don't think for a moment that just because you saw 3 Vietnam veterans at an anti-war rally that you now speak for the whole. At least I don't blame them for following orders. You and I will NEVER know what it's like to risk our lives on a battlefield because of something we believe in or because it's our job. Our battlefield is the fucking internet and our cushy living rooms. That alone means we shouldn't have the right to speak for them, we should just support them. When they come home will you be holding your rallies to welcome them? No you won't. Will you be thanking them or their families for the risks they took and the sacrifices they've made? No you won't so FUCK YOU with your "Don't you care about our military" propaganda bullshit. And you're ridiculous if you think that people supporting our troops in Iraq means we want them all to die. If Saddam was ousted and this war ended tomorrow it would be us celebrating. You people would be sitting in coffee houses with $7 lattes wondering what you could possibly complain about next.

Debate and scream about American intentions all you want. Again, I DON'T CARE.

"The road to ruin is paved with the best of intentions" so maybe the converse will yield better results.