July 8, 2003

News Stuff

Some people kind of creep me out. Like I consider myself a dog-lover and all but I wouldn't pay $1000 to rescue four puppies from Iraq. I mean come on... if you have money to burn why don't you feed a few starving people or something. This woman is probably one of those creepy types that shares ice cream cones with her dogs and opens her mouth when they lick her lips.

I think it's funny that Britney Spears felt she had to admit she wasn't a virgin. Duh, no shit. Did she really think anyone believed that she was one??? If someone read that article and said "Oh my God... I really thought she had never had sex before" then please contact me as soon as possible. I have a bridge to sell you, and maybe some Amway products.

So a group of Canadian researchers have decided that Stonehenge is supposed to be a woman's vulva. I guess if they're right that means that even in 3000 BC, there was already a large market for porn. Or a market for large porn.

I don't understand this whole women's golf controversy thing. What is a 37-year-old woman doing fighting with a 13-year-old girl?? Even if that 13-year-old slept with your husband... come on now she's fricken 24 years younger than you. Get over it and move on. And all this over GOLF, for God's sake. Golf. If watching men's golf is boring as hell I can only imagine (somewhat painfully) what it must be like to watch women's golf.

Okay it's official, I can't watch Law and Order while doped up on anti-labor drugs. It'll negate them. How are they supposed to relax my uterus and prevent contractions if I'm screaming at the TV. The problem is the show tries to be as realistic as possible (the bastards) so they show a whole lot of criminals who should fry going free. This would already annoy me if I wasn't pregnant. Imagine what it does to me when my hormones are raging and two little kids are beating the crap out of me from the inside. I should make Geo watch the show when it airs at an earlier time, and only let me watch it if the criminal gets sent to jail for 500 years, instead of getting off on some idiotic search warrant technicality.

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