So I Went To The Laundromat...

So I Went To The Laundromat...

I can't believe you guys are actually reading this. Slow day at work??

So Geo's parents have a washing machine... but no dryer. Don't ask me to explain this. I can't. So it was off to the laundromat for me.

Some thoughts:

1. I asked my aunt to babysit because there's no way in hell I was bringing my kids to that filthy, disgusting place. It's odd that a place whose whole purpose is to help people clean their clothes can be so dirty. Note to management: $2 per load and you asshats can't afford a fucking mop???

2. I got hit on by a crackhead, which of course was a major boost to my ego because you know what discerning tastes crackheads have. Of course, right after I declined his generous overture he then hit on an empty bottle of detergent.

3. Maury Povich was on, a show that seems to be exclusively devoted to helping women tell the men in their lives that the children they've been caring for and supporting for the last 5 years is not biologically theirs. I always love how the women run off crying once they find out the baby isn't their husband or boyfriend's. It's like, way to be completely selfish. You're the one that fucked him over and YOU want to be consoled? Women annoy me sometimes.

4. More Maury: Why do these poor unsuspecting fools always follow their women onto national television? Did you really want your 15 minutes to be those 15 agonizing, humilating 15 minutes?? How could you not see this coming? When was the last time you watched Maury or Jerry Springer or whatever and the wife just wanted to tell her husband that she loved him and was going to buy him a Ferrari?

5. Some people have the ugliest bedsheets. No offense but I can't see myself being lulled to sleep by a puke orange paisley print with red stripes. Yes, I saw that.

6. Someone was washing a basketball jersey. It took me about six seconds and 5 eyeball rotations to see that it was an Allen Iverson jersey (of course, what else would it have been). What cracked me up was that it was the only thing in the dryer, and then some teenaged kid came over, opened it and wore it out. I thought he might have just been ironing it.

7. There is a sign above the sink that says "Sink is to be used for washing hands only, not as a water source for washing your car." HUH???? What's weird about that is you figure in order for a sign to have been warranted, there had to have been some sort of precedent. Then again, I shouldn't be surprised. I do live in the ghetto.

8. I left my cell phone at home because I didn't want to wait for the battery to charge. Big mistake. People always try to get chatty in the laundromat. I don't know why this is. We're not at a fucking regatta. I just want to get my clothes clean and get out. I should have just brought my phone with the dead battery and pretended to be on some important call. "What do you mean I'm contagious and should be quarantined??? Define "public places"??"

Anyhoo I made it home safely. Excuse me while I go kiss my floor.