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Okay freecameranow.com has an ad on the Netscape homepage, of a rabid-looking kangaroo that creeps onto your computer screen. I thought it was the virtual Chupacabra.

It's always best to give in to terrorist demands like President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo of the Philippines did. That way the terrorists go on their merry way and never again kidnap innocent people and threaten to kill them to gain what they want. No really, that is what happens. After terrorists get what they want, they tell every one at the next Terrorist International Convention that kidnapping people and threatening to kill them does indeed work, but that they can't use the tactic again in good faith because the people already gave in once.

You know what's really annoying about terrorists (other than the whole terrorizing thing of course) is that they have excellent public relations. I don't know why or how but has anyone else noticed that these Muslim terrorist groups have really good PR? They fly a bunch of airplanes into people sitting in their offices working and the "international community" comes away with "well that sucks but decades of American interference made their actions justified." Except France of course who came away with "You can't even see where a plane crashed into the Pentagon." The "ultra religious" hijackers spend their last night alive stuffing twenties into the G-strings of random strippers and the "international community" comes away with "there's no clear photographic evidence of that because the video was a tad blurry." They behead civilians and soldiers and the international community ignores the fact that they've been doing that LONG before "the scandal" and says "well they did that because you guys took naked pictures of their soldiers and made fun of them." Somehow they even find ways to make Saddam Hussein look like a benevolent king who was ousted from his throne of peace and light by an evil empire that wants to kick puppies, maim small children and turn all the females between the ages of 13 and 39 into concubines. I'm ashamed to admit it but as a former public relations executive I'm pretty impressed with their PR. I wonder which agency they use.

So I got trapped into watching Maury this morning. It's Geo's fault, he turned on the television while he was getting ready for work then got distracted and walked away. The end result is that by the time I realized it was Maury I already wanted to know who the father of the girl's baby was. So then they hook you in further by showing clips of the later show guests and you end up wanting to know who the father of their babies are as well. I still don't understand how some of these chics are testing men number eight or nine. That means she banged like 10 guys in a two-week period if she's confused about paternity. Is she a porn star? Isn't there some sort of condition where you have "blackout sex" i.e. you have sex but completely forget about it. Maybe it's that. Sounds shady though. More like you forget about it until the wife asks what this receipt for the Motel 6 on Route 9 was for.

Best quote from the show: "The fourth man was deceased and was proven to not be the father through DNA." Oh God.

Okay I have to go take my dogs out for their afternoon piss. Then they can come back inside and get back to their normal itinerary of sleeping and licking each other. That's all my dogs do all day, sleep and go down on each other. I have the gayest dogs ever. Hey I'm not judging, as long as they don't try to lick *my* hand after where their tongues have been.