My 400th Post

In honor of my 400th post, I will do... well, nothing. I'm not certain I should be celebrating the fact that I have a big ass mouth and lots of shit to say.

Oh I know!!! I'll do an "official" interview. That might be fun.

TequilaShots: Thank you for taking the time out to speak with us.
Me: You're welcome but in all honesty, it's 1 o'clock in the morning and I have nothing better to do.
TequilaShots: Why don't you go try to get some from your husband?
Me: That thought did cross my mind, so I went and sat down next to him. But he's playing SOCOM U.S. Navy Seals and "Alpha team, weapons free, clear the area" sounds kinda sexual but isn't really. Plus I'm kinda hungry.
TequilaShots: Have you decided yet whether or not you'd rather have really amazing food and blah sex for the rest of your life or really amazing sex and bland food?
Me: No I haven't. This is a really hard question. Sex is great and all but it has an expiration date. Eventually you're just too old and too tired and too wrinkly and too arthritic to bother with it. But food is forever. On the other hand though, their definition of "blah sex" might be no foreplay, two minutes of missionary and a mint after.
TequilaShots: We'll come back to this one then.
Me: Not sure I'll have an answer by then but okay.
TequilaShots: So getting down to business, how do you feel about the fact that your blog has 400 posts?
Me: Honestly?
TequilaShots: Well, duh. No lie to me.
Me: Honestly I feel like a complete dildo. I haven't written a book or anything but I have written over 233,677 useless words.
TequilaShots: Are you about to segue into a long diatribe detailing some sort of pre-midlife crisis?
Me: Perhaps.
TequilaShots: Okay let's move on then. So tell us, what is the stupidest thing you've ever done?
Me: Are you sure we have time for this? I'm a fairly intelligent person but we're talking 28 years worth of stupid things. I used to hang upside down with my body in a completely vertical position, on the rail outside my third floor apartment. On the other side of the rail. I used to think it was pretty funny giving my roommates heart attacks, but in retrospect I'm kind of an idiot.
TequilaShots: Yeah that is pretty idiotic.
Me: So is this interview really.

No more writing at 1:00 in the morning. Actually, I normally do my best writing at night but tonight I was just not feeling it. Maybe I'm burned out. Or maybe it's because I'm still so fucking hungry. It's hard to get any type of thought process going when your acids are eating away at the lining of your stomach.