January 19, 2005

American Idol: St. Louis

American Idol: St. Louis Auditions and Point Pleasant

I didn't know the show was on tonight but Geo told me when he came home. He heard it on Howard, his "news" source in the morning. Apparently Howard isn't embarrassed to admit he's a fan, which is more than I can say for myself.

Okay that comment Simon made (implied) about Cannibal Chick hooking up with the Fat Triplets so she could eat off their excess weight was just about the funniest thing I've ever heard on this show.

Did Simon say "Word up" to Baseball Guy's Son because he was dressed like Fab Five Freddy?

Cruise Ship Guy was either on crack or so full of himself it's made him stupid. Somehow I think it's the latter. I don't understand why some of the auditioners get snappy with the judges PRIOR to being told whether or not they're through to the next round. Talk about burning your bridge while you're still standing on it, dumb ass.

The Asia chick was awful. I hate it when Randy and Paula get stupidly attached to some weirdo. They're just wasting valuable space for someone who actually has a shot at winning. Simon said she sounded like she was singing after inhaling helium. I agreed. I thought she was going to bust out with "We represent, the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild. And in the name of the Lollipop Guild we'd like to welcome you to Munchkinland. And you can see that genetics tells because Asia Chick's Mom was a complete crackhead. I think I've seen her down the street buying a couple vials.

I liked the Milkmaid the most so far. She was cute, friendly and talented. Of course, since I like her it means she won't make it past the next round.

I also liked White Blazer Jerry who sang "Aint Too Proud To Beg" but I guess the judges didn't. Sometimes I don't understand their logic. So the guy goes outside sans yellow card and his voice teacher starts bawling hysterically and wailing at the top of her lungs about how she only went because of him and now she's moving on and he's not. Oh God stop carrying on woman. It ain't about you, you dumb broad. Now he has to console you even though he's the one who got rejected and you're going to Hollywood. And of course, now the entire convention center knows he's a reject but she's not (in a manner of speaking). Women bug sometimes. Men don't pull attention-grabbing shit like that.

"Seacrest out" makes me ill every time. I mean you know the words are coming but the wave of nausea still hits. It's worse too if you have to look at his face while he's saying them. By the way, Ryan Seacrest throws like a 4-year-old girl.

After the show, I ended up watching the series premier of Point Pleasant. I figured you know, it was my duty as a New Jerseyan (albeit an adopted one.) I also admit to being semi-intrigued by the whole Jersey shore um, culture. Okay so in all honesty I was just wondering what the hell a show set in New Jersey could be about, if it wasn't about the mafia, agriculture or drive-bys in Camden. The show was kind of interesting. At least the premise was. Devil child who has suspicions but doesn't actually know for certain that she's a devil child ends up on the Jersey shore and wreaks unintentional (for now) havoc. It's like a wannabe The OC meets The Seventh Sign. Point Pleasant already has the makings of a popular show in the sense that the female uniform seems to be string bikinis even at night and there is no shortage of teen sex and midriffs. So already you've got the teen viewers and pedophiles hooked. And there's satanic intervention and explosions so they've got me hooked. The jury's out until tomorrow's episode though. That is, if I remember to watch it. I want TiVo.

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