So as Aud describes on her blog, she engaged in relations last weekend with some guy she didn't know that well. Hey, it happens to the best of us. One time I... well, never mind that. But Geo once banged some chick he knew for about 15 minutes, in the service corridor of the Newport Mall. So like I said, it happens to the best of us.
In the morning, Aud tried to be a Sex Ninja and bounce before the awkward exchange of numbers. And first names. Just kidding haha. Aud however, was not successful in her mission because although she was stealthy enough to silently depart from the premises, she left behind a valuable possession and had to go back. So that's like initial awkwardness multiplied by three (hundred), because she couldn't pretend she never left, since on the return trip she had a friend with her.
Rule Number One of Sex Ninjahood: Remove all traces of your existence from the scene of the encounter.
Oh sorry, that's Rule Number Two. Rule Number One is "You do not talk about Sex Ninjahood!!!"
The best part of the story is the fact that prior to her encounter with him, she told me she was going to mess around a bit but that was all. To which my response was a snort. Of disbelief, not cocaine. Just thought I'd clarify that. Actually, I just lied. About the best part thing not the coke thing. The best part of the story is the picture Aud sent me via e-mail, which I then attached to one of her:
Best comments I heard about this picture:
Mike J: Oh my God. He's like her twin. She really does love herself.
Me: Aud why can't you just jerk off like the rest of us self-absorbed people.
Mike J: Instead she had to go and find someone who looked just like her.
Me: Wouldn't it be funny if he really dresses normal, and she just gave him those clothes to wear in bed?
Girlie: Wait... you mean that's HIS jacket? He wasn't just wearing hers?
Me: She has the same jacket. But that one is his.
Geo: Are you sure he didn't steal her scarf to wear himself?
Aud: I told you we looked like they pulled us out of the Gangs of New York movie set.
Me: What are you talking about, it looks like they pulled you guys off the Freaks and Geeks set.
Aud: Oh my God you are so mean!!!
Me: Oh come on, you had to know it.
Aud: I know it's dorky but I like it.
Me: Then that's all that matters. It's okay, you're still hot.
5 comments:
Since I am also of the true order of Sex Ninjas (Troop 4350) I must add my disappointment. Not that Aud had to go back to pick up the "accidently left behind" scarf. But more so about the brightly colored coat. Ninjas DO NOT wear orange. Yellow on days when we are feeling a little frisky, but never orange. Oh, and the hat. Well......Ninja code forbids my comment. But it is very...err...dapper?
I hate you guys. Anti-Blogger, consider yourself OFF THE LIST.
What?!?! NO!!!
Thanks Riss! See what you made me do? I expect payment very quickly!
Yeah, AB, you're a real asshole. I'm a sex ninja, too and I think orange is very quaint and coy and also delectable. But I'm not really a sex ninja. But you probly all figured that out.
Oh suuuuure AB. Blame the messenger.
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