February 10, 2005

Random TV Shit

Random TV Shit

So I griped about the lack of Asian people on 24 and someone responded "If you count Middle Easterners as Asian people then they are pretty well represented on 24." Thanks for comin out pal. Yes, I understand that the Middle East technically sits on the Asian continent. But when was the last time you met a Persian or Saudi Arabian person who considered himself Asian? Am I going to have to start saying "Asian not of Arabic or Russian descent" just to get my point across from now on? I don't even say Asian-American. I hate people who try to be overly-intellectual and deliberately miss the whole point of the statement. And I really, REALLY hate non-Asian-not-of-Arabic-or-Russian-descent people who think that because they read some politically correct book, they should even be debating this crap. Yeah I know, people should be allowed to say what they want but it doesn't make it any less annoying. If you're going to watch a show based in the U.S. learn the fucking terminology. I hate to be the politically incorrect fuck (not really) but there's Asian and there's Arab. Got it? Where's my shovel when I need it.

But it's all moot anyway. I've decided I should be happy with the lack of Asian-not-of-Arabic-or-Russian-descent people on the show. Let's face it, television is not kind to Asian-not-of-Arabic-or-Russian-descent people. Even reality television. I swear television producers sit there and audition hundreds of Asian-not-of-Arabic-or-Russian-descent people then deliberately pick the worst one. Two birds with one stone, they fill their quota to feel good about themselves AND find a foil for the normal people they really want to do well (See also: Ivana and Tammy on The Apprentice, Ruthie on The Real World, William Hung.... you get my point.) I doubt programming is going to get better, so I'm starting a petition to ban all Asian-people-not-of-Arabic-or-Russian-descent from television. Okay I'm done griping. New topic.

The Pizza Hut commercial where Miss Piggy is eating a strip of pepperoni pizza is just plain funny. I wonder if it infuriates animal rights activists who feel eating animals is cruelty. I mean the commercial kind of hocks a lugie in their face. I also like that Mastercard commercial with the Starkis Tuna guy, the Jolly Green Giant, the Mortons Salt Chick, Mr. Clean, Mr. Peanut and Count Chokula all eating dinner together. Well almost. The Jolly Green Giant is too big so he just sticks his face in the window and wiggles his head. Cartoon spokespeople are fun.

My favorite thing about old cartoons is that a lot of times, instead of dialogue they use classical music. Like old Bugs Bunny cartoons and Tom and Jerry. Tom and Jerry was on this morning and in one cartoon segment they played Tchaikovsky's Sleeping Beauty and Bizet's "March of the Toreadors" from Carmen. That's awesome. What's annoying though is that Jerry doesn't get his ass beat any longer. In the old cartoons, Tom and Jerry used to get their asses whooped equally. Now it's poor Tom who takes all the beatings, even if he didn't start shit. I guess people complained that the underdog shouldn't take such a whooping? He's a mouse for God's sake. I used to feel bad for the mice that got caught in our glue traps, until one ran across my living room. Right there during the day, right near our play area where my daughters were. Aren't those fuckers supposed to be nocturnal? The mice, not my kids. Anyway after that, I stopped caring about how mean it was and Geo went out and got the heavy duty traps, the ones that snap. I don't clear them out though. Eeew.

On the Dharma and Greg re-run last night, they had a duck (which was really a goose) statue that they passed back and forth. It was a trophy for whoever had sex in the most adventurous spot. Like Dharma and greg had it for having sex on a trolly, but then her friend won it back for having sex in the lobby of a busy office building, then they won it back for having sex in the middle of Ghiradelli Square. I wonder if any of my friends would be up for passing a duck trophy around too. And where would we start, Empire State? Outside the Holland Tunnel? Giants Stadium?

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