Valentine's Day (And My Top 6 Rejected V-Day Cards)
Happy (belated) Valentine's Day everyone. Hope it was... well hope you guys didn't kill yourselves. I'm not a huge fan of this holiday. I just think the expectations people place on it are normally unrealistic. Like people feel like it should be the most romantic night ever but instead you're waiting in some restaurant's lobby for 3 hours, before being served sub-par food because the cooks are stressed. Afterwards your man presents you with your once-a-year roses, when what you really want is for him to stop bitching at you the other 364 days of the year.
Of course, my last few Valentine's Days have been awesome so maybe in a couple years it will be my favorite holiday. No way! Thanksgiving still rocks. Food, family, liquor and football. Also known as bliss. It will take a lot to de-throne Thanksgiving. Although if next year Geo makes me steak, steamed crab claws with butter sauce, garlic mashed potatoes, asparagus with Hollandaise sauce, buttered corn and chocolate-covered strawberries like he did two years ago then Valentine's Day will definitely become my new favorite holiday.
So to celebrate, Geo and I took our little valentines to Toys R Us and got them some building blocks. They had such fun with Jake's Megablocks last weekend that we decided they should have their own. Our romantic Valentine's dinner was the drive-through at White Castle, which we both voted on. Geo jokingly tried to swing our vote towards The Olive Garden but I gave him the look of death which effectively silenced him. I loathe few things as much as I loathe popular restaurants on Valentine's Day.
After we got home, Geo and I made each other cards (which came out awesome because ever since the girls were born, I've been obsessed with scrapbooking and Geo has picked up ideas through osmosis.) Then we started working on "our box" which isn't marital porn lingo for a threesome chick, but is in fact an actual wooden box. I got it a long time ago intending to decorate it and store random couple-y stuff in it (wedding photos, wine corks from various occasions, ticket stubs, cards etc) but never got around to it. So we made it our Valentine's Day project woo-hoo! And of course Geo got some for being such a good sport about my crafty project ideas. Whatever works right.
Tony sent out an e-mail of rejected Valentine's Day cards, which I liked so I made up some of my own.
My Top 6 Rejected Valentine's Day Cards
1. I gave you some candy and flowers in a vase
Now can I please jizz on your face??
2. Thanks for the chocolates and holding my hand,
What part of "jewelry" don't you understand?
3. You're the complete package, I have all the luck...
Is that enough compliments? Cuz I wanna fuck.
4. Dinner was nice and the drinks well made
But that doesn't mean you'll be getting laid.
5. The best part of having you tonight in my presence
Is that you don't have to buy a booty call presents.
6. Thanks for the sweater.
A blowjob woulda been better.