February 15, 2005

24: Hour Nine

24: Hour Nine

Just some quick notes, I was preoccupied during the show. Sacrilege for certain, but apparently my daughters don't understand that once a week I have to watch Jack Bauer save the country, and that their part of the job is to keep silent and amuse themselves.

1. Terrorist Papa gave his wife's sister-in-law's boob a pretty nasty look. An American guy would have been all about the involuntary boobage.

2. The scene between Edgar and his mom was kind of sad. I actually felt bad for the guy. Not like last season when that one mean computer guy kept wanking off about his sister and I was like "Oh shut up and do your job already." I can't even remember if his sister was exposed to the virus or not, I cared so little for him.

3. I am all about Tony Almeida being back and all (and seriously rooting for the return of Michelle Almeida, which seems to be inevitable since she now works at that mysterious entity known as "Division.") And I realize that he got pretty burned last season, being arrested for treason and all when he was just trying to prevent biological armageddon. But can he make up his mind already? All this will I won't I help Jack is getting kind of lame. Yes I realize it's only been two episodes. But it's lame. Jack needs you. Go help Jack. End of story.

4. I fail to see how the wife's family is completely ignorant of Terrorist Family's terrorist machinations. They give off serious crazy vibes, even when they're talking about innocuous topics. In my 24 world the wife's family is a lot more observant and on top of things.

Terrorist Papa: Can you pass the stuffing please?
Terrorist Mama's Brother: Oh my God!!!! You're in league with Ihmotep aren't you???
Terrorist Mama: Do you want the cranberry sauce too dear?
Terrorist Mama's Brother: You guys are planning to melt nuclear facilities. I knew it!!!

5. Watching Random Agent Guy dig his finger into Terrorist Mama's bullet wound was like watching your two favorite teams play in the Super Bowl, and one's about to score in overtime. You're like "Yeaaah!! I mean no!!!!! Wait yeaaah!!! Wait no!!!!" You want the bitch to get tortured because she's evil and complicit in a plot to kill millions of Americans... but at the same time you realize that her going into shock is the last thing Jack needs. And that should be the mission statement of the FBI, CTU, NSA, CIA, LAPD, CHP, Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, whatever. "What does Jack need right now???" Who does number two work for?!?!

6. Where's Creepy And Fruity (sounds like a weird cereal) Husband? I mean I was glad they gave us a vacation from him for an episode but now it's been two and I miss complaining about him. You know what they say, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." Well actually in this case it's "Absence makes you miss all the shit you were talking about him."

7. My absolute favorite part came at the end...

Terrorist Mom: I am only helping you to save my son. I believe in our cause and if my son is dead then I am more than happy to see those reactors melt down.
Jack: (into the phone to Erin Driscoll): Did you get that?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I love Jack Bauer. Jack rocks. That's going to be the name of my band if I ever have one. Jack Rocks. Or maybe, Rock Jacks Off. One of those two.

By the way, I love people who hate 24 because Jack pretty much dispenses with the whole civil rights thing. They make me smile so big. "WAAAAHHHHHHHH!! That terrorist is being tortured WAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!! Where's his lawyer WAAAAAAAAAHHH!!"

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